A last minute switch of votes perhaps due to intense lobbying by the law firm of Howard Feldman has resulted in the induction of Michael Feldman to the Washington HS Hall of Fame where he will join “a senator, a MLB commissioner, a movie star and several other extraordinary people” in the wall display adjacent to the child care center. Washington–School of Victory!
Feldman Fails to Enter Washington HS Wall of Fame
Posted April 10, 2014 by mefeldCategories: Uncategorized
The ceremony is on the 24th and it’s the 10th already, so it seems pretty clear I will not be making the Milwaukee Washington HS wall of Fame this go ’round. Bud Selig is in there and Gene Wilder, and others, I imagine, never seen it. It was all I could do to get out in ’66, I’m not going back at 66. But my brother Howard, ’56, believes in the right of return and in the wall–showcase–of fame, and believes little Michael deserves to be in it. I don’t know, I’m not commisioner of baseball nor have I danced to putting on the ritz with Frankenstein’s monster. I can do the monster’s “PUTTIN-ONTHA-RIITTH!!–pretty good, but the tap with high hat and cane is not that easy. Howard was adamant about it, in light of his coming back for another damn reunion (I mean the attrition is getting pretty bad) this fall and told me he expects to point out his brother up on the wall to a WHS survivor who doesn’t even remember who he is. So, against my better judgement had I any, I let my name be put in contention.
The fact that my inquisitor’s sister had gone out with my brother Clayton in ’54 got things off on the wrong, not even my, foot. Clayton said she dumped him for a Great Lakes sailor who piped her on board as it were. That should not be my problem, nor even Clayton’s, really, 60 years being the statute of limitations on heavy petting aka tripping on the bag rounding second. Then the inevitable somebody said, this one being that I had said something negative about Washington, the Purgolder experience or possibly Principal Arlie Schardt and his damn red rubber ball in the jar of beans, “shake your beans and your ball shall rise to the top.” Perhaps the offhand remark, 5 or 600 times, that we had to swim naked and, hence, I never learned the backstroke. OK and the unfortunate “Miss Ganos has a Nice Anos” on my folder, but it was the nearest rhyme that worked. The vice principal gave me an overview on the Spanish Civil War for that one, still don’t know why, guess it was just on his mind. Mr. Tolkan, Bob, was much more serious than his famous brother Phil Tolkan, he of the Phil Tolkan Singing Pontiacs. Or it might have been something else. I don’t know, for me going up the steps to Washington High was a lot like people must have felt passing under the Work Shall Set You Free sign.
My last best hope to make my case for the case was the brief essay requested: what Washington did, or possibly meant, to me. That’s just asking for trouble. But here it is–you be the judge. I’ll say this–it sounds like me. And isn’t that what Alma Mater Washington is all about?
Michael Feldman
Washington HS Class of 66 AD
6 semesters of Spanish club, have no idea why unless it was Sandy Chavez.
Stage Crew, best thing to get on since David Gregory could call your classroom and say you’re needed backstage. Loved it, learned a little about lighting and which rope to pull, etc.
Host 1965 Tonia Toppers Variety Show, was NY, NY or possibly IC, IOWA. Wrote the skits, wore the tux, under the able guidance of Ms. Georgia Ganos, now Glaser. Ron Glaser, btw, should be in this case. Great ballplayer.
4th of Feldman boys to attend WHS after Clayton ’54 (est) Howard ’57 (or so) Arthur who should have graduated in ’61, and me class of ’66. While we’ve never compared, because Feldmans don’t do that, I believe my 3.8725* average led the pack.
*should have been straight A but my new to teaching American History teacher gave me a B because she said it was too easy for me. And who’s fault was that?
Went out for tennis got seeded Ricky Dominitz, large but a killer athlete in all sports, hence never even numeraled and just wore the jacket to change oil in later years.
Recent life experience: since 1985 hosted “Whad’ya Know” on Wisconsin Public Radio, syndicated nationally on Public Radio International.
Married to wife Sandy since 1984 with 2 very nearly fully grown daughters Ellie and Nora, all of Madison.
Zebra Stripes and All the News That Isn’t
Posted April 7, 2014 by mefeldCategories: Uncategorized
Tags: felony drive to polls, poll watchers, russian dressing, zebra stripes
4-7-14
The bad news–had to rake up piles of still frozen leaves. The good news–the rake broke.
Told ’em Wintersconsin was a lousy tourism idea.
The only compensation is that all great art and invention occur at this latitude. Not necessarily here.
Gotta do something to stay warm.
Don’t know about you, but I could use a climate change.
In All the News That Isn’t —
Obamacare reaches its goal of 7 million signups to universal disdain. Barack Dangerfield: can’t get no respect.
Russian troops on Ukraine border wearing same outfits for nearly 2 months now–something’s gotta give.
McDonalds closes its restaurants in Crimea because they couldn’t keep up with the demand for Russian dressing.
Darth Vader will not run for Ukraine president after being deemed a little light in the lightsaber.
Supreme Court decides on Powerball limits for campaign contributions.
Court’s ruling make the Koch brothers a branch of government.
The Supreme Court gets 10% of everything over a million. Well, the majority does.
Something is wrong when fat cats can spread the wealth but farmers can’t spread the manure.
After allowing voting only when people are working, the Wisconsin legislature tightens the noose with a law allowing poll watchers to look over your shoulder and guide your hand at the polls.
Next up in Governor Walker’s voter containment blitzkrieg: making giving someone a ride to the polls a felony.
President George W Bush shows his painting of world leaders highlighted by a very buff, blue eyes looking into your soul Vladimir.
Great about the kid from Long Island, but probably would happen more often if everyone applied to every Ivy League school.
I applied to all 10 (at that time) of the Big Ten schools, and, except for Purdue, had it.
Our very own Paulie Ryan’s budget plan calls for Social Security to be replaced with guaranteed McDonalds crew-chief positions for every fairly able-bodied old person. Got to pull themselves up by their own walkers!
Knew Letterman wouldn’t last. Will be replaced by Joe Biden.
Europeans three-fold advantage in Neanderthal genes serves them well in football. Or, as Cro-Magnons call it, soccer.
Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg gets 3.3 billion return on his one dollar salary. Pretty good, but how does a person with no social skills spend that kind of money?
Rand Paul favors immigration reform since his dad comes from Tralfamadore.
GM to place Cobalts in a gunny sack and drown them.
Researchers say 7 portions of fruit & veggies every 2 or 3 years not enough. For most people.
Other researchers find that zebras have vertical stripes in front to make them look taller and horizontal stripes in back to make their butts look smaller.
Too much running tied to shorter life span–or maybe you just get to the finish line sooner.
Cheerleader who sued her parents gets $56,000 scholarship and, boy, are they nice to her now.
Putin’s divorce comes through after he annexes wife Ludmilla’s divorce lawyer.
The governors place their bets on the Wisconsin-Kentucky game: Kentucky bourbon versus Wisconsin teacher retirement accounts . . .
That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .
Cheese Us
Posted March 27, 2014 by mefeldCategories: Uncategorized
Tags: cheese names, cheese us, eu cheese, wisconsin cheese
Hi, Mike Shorthorn here for the Wisconsin Cheese Congress.
I don’t believe it’s much of an overstatement to say the international cheese wars are heating up to near fondue levels. You may have read that the European Union has nailed an edict to the old barn door declaring that Wisconsin cheesemakers must desist and refrain from using the appellations parmesan, gouda, ardsallagh (hard, soft or smoked) asiago d’allevo or pressato, Bavarian or Bavarian -style Bergkase, any and all cheeses with the word brie or bleu in it, marscapone, even Australian, and nearly 400 others to designate any ripened pressed curd product not made strictly within the named village, shtetl, region, province, Provence and/or Landkreise. This even includes Gorgonzola, it may surprise you to know–apparently there is a place called Gorgonzola nestled somewhere in the EU, although it may, in a more literal sense, refer to a zola from gorgan. It’s Italian, anyway, and no business of the French, and, bien sur, the French are behind this. Cheese purete is not the kind of thing the French are going to leave to Stilton or cașcaval-eaters; no sir, cette fromage has French written all over it. And all so unnecessary: who around here is going to make a nice Pouligny-Saint-Pierre and not just call it what it is: goat cheese–or come up with ripely pungent Reblochon de Savoie and claim it just this morning descended the Alps?
Europeans, in fact, are relative latecomers to cheese making, which, after all , was pictured on 4,000 year-old Egyptian tombs and on 5,000 year-old Yan empire vases. It wasn’t until the Roman Empire, to its credit, made the known world safe for the consumption of ripened pressed curd that Europe even became a player. The appearance of cheese in key roles in both Greek and Nordic mythology makes it clear that no one age nor people possess the cheese birthright. Here in Wisconsin we have been America’s Dairyland at least since the1831 Koshkonong cheese works; by the mid 1840’s New Glarus was awash in Ohio cows and Swiss dairymen–and you know what that leads to. To paraphrase the late great Walter Brennan: no brag, just cheese. We do not rest on our Old World Laurels here, but innovate with a strong sense of tradition. Consequently, it is with a heavy heart that we must respond to the EU’s non-competitive clauses re: dairy products (funny they don’t seem to have a problem with Brussels sprouts and Belgian endive) with our own fair trade restrictions.
Effective immediately, we enjoin all European use or reproduction of Velveeta, Kaukauna Klub Cheese, in crock or out, cheese curds, both fresh and deep fried, brick cheese, whether brick shaped or not, “Swiss” or, in fact, New Glarus Cheese, farmer cheese (particularly when you know the farmer), hoop cheese, Munster cheese (which lacks the ‘e’ of the French valley) Colby (the one near Abbotsford) Cheese (Colby, btw, is what happens when you don’t cheddar Cheddar), Liederkranz, a heads-up version of old world Limburger, Brunost, found wherever you find Norwegians, and you sure do, Cheese Whiz, Easy Cheese, Macaroni and Cheese, and Kraft Singles. Oh, and string cheese which some will claim is mozzarella. Couldn’t be further from the truth; try and peel mozzarella.
The Wisconsin Cheese Congress takes these actions mindfully and with regret, in the hope that soon both sides will come to an understanding that while we all have tremendous pride in heritage, ethnicity and form of governance, we also have a shared heritage in the cheese which should press us together. Once we reaffirm this we can abandon limits and restrictions on all dairy products, processed and -un, globally. Because those of us everywhere in ripened pressed curd product know that, in the final end, we are all one under cheeses.
Merci, grazie, dziękuję, danke, gracias, takk, tak, and thank you. 
Cheese Us and All the News That Isn’t
Posted March 17, 2014 by mefeldCategories: Uncategorized
Tags: candy crush, cheese names, crimea, eu, hank the dog
3-17-14
Crocuses down after early advances.
Milwaukeeans push lawn care season with snow tires on their mowers.
California drought results in Lakers drying up.
Russian nesting dolls line Ukraine border.
In Crimea, 150% vote to join Russia.
Chicago election board signs off on the Crimean vote and it’s a done deal.
Ramses II leads Egyptian vote, some irregularities suspected.
McDonalds says paying a living wage would result in Little Bitty Mac and a 1/16 Pounder.
European Union forces American cheese makers to call Parmesan “little powdery cheese stuff in a green can.” And Gouda just OK-a.
Mozzarella we may not mention in public or private.
They want to say string cheese is mozzarella, but, c’mon, did you ever try to peel a mozzarella?
Genetic evidence that Native Americans are Russian in origin prompts Putin to annex South Dakota.
General reaction around here is that if the CIA can find intelligence in Congress more power to them.
Weather Channel officially out of names after Winter Storm Zyxt wallops northeast.
Pretty much has to be the last winter storm unless they go to popular baby names.
Malaysian Airlines search team still missing.
Malaysian officials now believe pilots may have had something to do with flight.
Candy Crush game app valued at $7.6 billion minus the 99 cents it costs.
Always thought Bubble Popper would have the higher valuation.
Juan Pablo.
Newly discovered pygmy Tyrannosaurus thought to be ancestor of modern puggle.
The good news is that at 65, as some of us may now be, it’s ok to eat all the protein and fat you were supposed to avoid for 64 years. The bad news is you didn’t. Well, who knew we just had to wait?
At this point may as well drink, smoke and do drugs because the demographics are in our favor.
As a bonus you get the promised full and rewarding sex life well into your 70’s we’ve all been waiting for.
Pope Francis enter year two hoping to avoid the sophomore slump.
Once Russia annexes Crimea it will be the USS small r.
Sap not yet flowing in Wisconsin but pails raring to go.
United will stream free movies to Apple iPad users and anyone sitting next to or behind them on the aisle.
Green Bay schools ban e-cigarettes after kids crush ’em out on the gym floor.
After being vomited on during her act she is now known as Lady Gag Gag.
And the Milwaukee Brewers make Hank the Dog Franchise Player to avoid Free Agency . . .
That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .
All the News That Isn’t
Posted March 10, 2014 by mefeldCategories: Uncategorized
Tags: oscar mayer bacon smell, pope swear, russel wilson
3-10-14
Discovery of a 30,000 year old virus explains why colds are so hard to shake.
30,000 year old virus means your cold outlives you by 29,900 and change years.
Your pall bearer will catch your cold.
All out of plow and salt money around here, so letting nature take her course: glaciation.
The New Wisconsin Age. We got kettles, we got drummonds, we got moraines.
Be worth it just to see glacier advance over Illinois.
Cutbacks at the Pentagon mean an Army of Less Than One.
Marines need maybe 2 Good Men, tops.
Facebook is acquiring drones, so you better like ’em.
United tells oversized passengers with oversized bags to stay in their oversized homes.
After all, it’s not Fly the Fatty Skies.
Thanks to the Russian extended stay in Ukraine ruble crashes, is now rubble.
True to his word President Obama makes the Russians pay by withholding our Paralympics athletes. Putin didn’t even blink those steely blue eyes (that George W fell into).
Pope Francis swears like a Holy See faring man.
As far as I’m concerned this Pope can do nothing wrong.
Conservative Political Action Committee Convention–or None Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest–ends.
Girl Scouts may sever ties with Mattel over Barbie’s impossible body type, even though, in scouting, we don’t know the word impossible.
There goes the Barbie patch, girls.
Oscar Meyer has a new alarm app that lets you rise to the smell of bacon.
Hey, I want the smell of bacon I lift the sheets.
If Little Oscar’s there, so be it.
Tea Party claims it got screw-to-me from the IRS.
Hey, welcome to the USA, land of screw-to-me. Where ya from?
Sarah Palin, long time no stupid, comes up with a good one: Putin invaded Ukraine because Barrack Obama wears mom jeans.
Love her–her stuff writes itself.
Although, Sarah, the constant Carharts is a little butch.
Contingencies for rising sea levels and major monuments: water wings for Statue of Liberty, giant condom for Big Ben and an antenna with a tennis ball on top for the Eiffel Tower.
Putin now says he’s been asked for some help over here from Russians in Brighton Beach, NY.
Radio Shack goes under I’ll have nowhere to go for the thing I need you can’t find anywhere else there place when you get around to needing it. Female RCA plug? Sauropod tooth?
After the missile launch now calling him Kim Jong Putin.
Still, better than Rootin’ Tootin’ Putin.
Minimum Wage increase expected by 1959.
Hopefully, be in 1959 dollars.
End up wearing same thing on Ash Wednesday had on Fat Tuesday.
John Travolta just turned 60 and even messes up his own name. Like he’s supposed to know some woman who sings in Cartoons?
Travolta may not know what’s her name’s name, but he knows what they call a quarter pounder with cheese in France.
Russell Wilson won’t dance, don’t ask him.
Russell is well aware of the effect Dancing With the Stars had on the career of Donald Driver.
Say, I can’t remember where I stashed my $10 million in old gold coins–anybody seen ’em?
Man suing a casino in Vegas for having lost a half-million dollars at cards while being blackout drunk. But what a great poker face.
Crimea will secede from Ukraine and join into federation with North Colorado.
Guy on the street tried to sell me a picture of Justin Bieber peeing in a cup.
They’re taking the essay off the SAT–now I’ll never get into law school.
For many of us the essay was the only hope on the SAT.
The old ones say that one day we shall reach a temperature where water is liquid.
And a reminder that Daylight Savings begins at bar time Saturday night so be prepared to give your last drink back.
That’s All the News That Isn’t
Seth Rogen Must be High and All the News That Isn’t
Posted March 3, 2014 by mefeldCategories: Uncategorized
Tags: all, isn't, news, seth rogen
3-3-14
This close to a land bridge out over the frozen Great Lakes, but then you end up in Michigan.
Experts say the Weather Channel naming storms has prolonged the winter.
If this one’s Titan I’m Uranus.
Winter storm Uranus–staying indoors for that one.
This winter made me glad I didn’t fix that leaky sink. Who knows when I’d get to broken pipes.
Any winter that makes you feel like a hero for getting the paper is not entirely bad.
Arizona’s Jan Brewer couldn’t have surprised me more if she ran off with her sorority sister.
Arizona gay friendly, Texas gay marriage friendly–must be the dawning of The Age of Aquarius.
Phoenix again a possibility for the Republican convention now that it’s Log Cabin Republican friendly.
Now comes the real Russian Winter Games.
It’s taken all this time to get the stains out of the Clinton documents. And Hillary has tried everything.
Get a female CEO at GM, whad’ya get? Recalls with an apology. Nice little handwritten note on a World Wildlife Federation card “Sorry about your ignition.”
Tea Party 5 years old, and you know how they can be.
Chris Christie’s lane to the Republican nomination closed.
Paula Deen on the March 10 cover of Colored People Magazine.
NASA discovers 4 new planets which might support life, unfortunately, earth not among them.
3 parent in-vitro embryos are a good way of spreading the genetic blame around.
Only 2 senators came to Seth Rogen’s Alzheimer’s presentation–the rest spaced it out entirely. Rented Knocked Up without knowing why.
British spy agency catches millions of Yahoo chat users with their Monty Pythons out.
Latest thing–wash and wearable tech.
I only do wearable low tech–umbrella hats, beer hats, spring shoes, eyeglass suspenders.
Need to kickstart me some wearable tech. There, do I sound now now?
Mormons say believers do not get their own planets in the afterlife, so I guess it’s Episcopalian for me. Because they do.
Europe’s Ryan Air says they will fly to the US for $14, but passengers must be in urns.
Juan Pablo.
Ok, so the Brewers will have Hank the Dog and 6 guys running around the field dressed like sausages?
That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .
An Uncertain Age
Posted February 27, 2014 by mefeldCategories: Uncategorized
Tags: age, door, grow up, keys, kids, uncertain
You Are of an Uncertain Age If:
*You refer to at least one object around the house as a “hoo-hah.”
*You are way past tired of having your every ‘ice box,’ ‘clicker,’ ‘tennis shoe’ and ‘tv dinner’ mocked.
*You never have to wonder where your keys are, they ‘re in the door.
*Your dog is way too important to you.
*You think One Direction is a tampon.
*It sometimes comes out Afro-American.
*You replace every bulb with a 20 year life LED so you’ll never have to change another bulb again.
*This is the first day of what’s left of your life.
*You keep checking your land line.
*Losing 5 pounds is statistically insignificant.
*When you get the senior discount without asking for it it no longer bothers you.
*Your children tell you to grow up.
*You mix up millennials and perennials.
*You are in at least format 4 in music and movies.
*You pray there is no afterlife.
All the News That Isn’t
Posted February 24, 2014 by mefeldCategories: Uncategorized
2-24-14
President Obama met the Dalai Lama. Or at least that’s where he told his wife he was going.
Chinese upset because they make a knockoff Dali Lama. Inflatable–have to go right up and squeeze it.
Ted Nugent does not meet the Dalai Lama.
Please no more “rocker Ted Nugent.” Off his rocker Ted Nugent, fine.
Someday he’ll pick his teeth with a loaded squirrel gun and that will be that.
Around here, we’re hoping Ted will come help Scott Walker’s campaign.
In the Art-Historygate scandal, President Obama apologizes for saying Caravaggio’s use of chiaroscuro was gratuitous. Hey, that’s all I got out of 101.
That, and way too many Mary and the Baby’s. Give me a break–supposed to be a Renaissance.
Anyway, the want ads are filled with Art Historians wanted.
Ends up costing the Russians $3,846,153,846 per gold.
USA raked in the bronze which, from a distance, looks very much like gold.
It’s just standing in that #3 spot looking up at some Canuck jumping up and down.
I don’t begrudge Canada–what else do they have? Heated steering wheels, strong beer, lot of opportunity for winter sports.
Cossacks whipping Pussy Riot with horsewhips has been made a permanent event at the Winter Games.
I’m Pussy Riot, I want Cossacks with horsewhips on the video.
Russians know how to deal with rock stars–should hand Ted Nugent over to them.
At the North and South Korea reunion, a lot of families can’t find their uncles. Auntie doing pretty good though.
New Edward Snowden action figure brandishes a thumb drive.
Snowden was elected rector at the University of Glasgow, but got almost as many votes for rectum.
Seems like a big deal, but the race for Glasgow rector was between Snowden and Woody Allen.
Scientists find that man’s and dog’s brains very nearly identical, but dogs keep theirs a lot cleaner.
Supreme Court finds executive authority pretty much like parental authority. Illusory.
Other scientists conclude that sitting down is a disease, but it’s not the sitting down it’s the getting up.
For many over 60 sitting is a good compromise between standing and falling over. Lot of complications from falling over.
Plan to split California into 6 ungovernable states advances.
Ca-li-for-nia . I only get 4.
Mark Zuckerberg gives another kid in jeans and a hoodie $19 Billion for a makeover.
All for a very white sounding WhatsApp while the African-American app WassSup gets nothing.
Post Office announces Steve Jobs stamp will, ironically, power snail mail.
Brett Favre looks at Johnny Manziel sees young Brett Favre, Johnny Manziel looks at old Brett Favre sees good reason to learn a trade.
Other than Art History.
That’s All the News That Isn’t
Mars all Wet and All the News That Isn’t
Posted February 17, 2014 by mefeldCategories: Uncategorized
Tags: 12345, bob costas, fox wire terrier, snowden, water on mars, winter storm sherman
2-17-2014
Winter storm General Sherman rolls through Atlanta–but the South will plow again!
Weather Channel needs to think more about naming these storms.
Everybody talks about the Weather Channel but nobody does anything about it.
They make fun of Atlanta but, you know, we’d have the same problem up here with a heavy accumulation of grits.
Then, New York City buried by 2 inches of snow. Barely see the top 102 floors of the Empire State.
But what stories New Yorkers will have about the Dusting of 2014.
At Sochi, unusually warm weather for the Winter Olympics results in a Speedo Trial Event.
The girlfriend of French President Hollande sits at the kid’s table during White House dinner.
Where the kids enjoyed hastily renamed Freedom Fries.
Astronomers suspect flowing water on Mars because every time they look at it they have to pee.
Dumb Starbucks spurs a rash of dumb including Dumb Home Depot, Dumb Vatican City and Dumb Koch Industries.
Some crocodiles can climb trees.
All crocodiles looks like trees.
Therefore,
Some crocodiles climb some crocodiles.
Bob Costas and Wire Fox Terrier are trending.
Ballplayers report to False Spring Training.
A-Rod going to play little exhibition ball in Pyongyang.
After Rand Paul sues Barack Obama he will sue Mrs. Paul’s fish sticks for trademark infringement.
Judge rules Kentucky has to accept same-sex shotgun weddings.
That’s where they both have one.
Pictures of iPhone 6 look a lot like my Genie garage door opener.
Barbie on cover of Sport Illustrated’s Swim Suit Issue so obviously had work done. What is she 50? 60?
January Obamacare signups go through the roof thanks to New Year’s resolution sign-ups. Smattering of bucket list sign-ups.
Leaker Edward Snowden used password 12345 to gain complete access to NSA files. And yet he can’t remember his pin at the Time Machine.
Yes, Virginia, there is same sex marriage.
Just start calling it ‘marriage’ solve a lot of the problems even if creating others, being marriage.
Joseph A. Banks buys Eddie Bauer rebrands as Joey Banks.
Pentagon meals in the field come up with 3 year pizza–if it doesn’t arrive in 3 years it’s absolutely free.
Packers interested in openly defensive end Michael Sam.
Stradivarius recovered in Milwaukee has a crank on the side.
My wife didn’t appreciate her Valentine’s flowers but the funeral displays were all they had left.
Here in Madison, the city says Wednesday’s snow had to be shoveled by noon Thursday, but Thursday’s snow can wait ’til you get around to it.
Bonus All the Opinion That Isn’t:
5 Things Wrong with Sochi 2014
1. A lot of these events, biathlon, skeleton, bandy, are clearly made up or something only Russians would do. Buzkashi, goat head polo, surprisingly, is not among them, although that’s more of a summer thing. Around here shooting a .22 on skis doesn’t even happen up north.
2. Scandinavian nations, and they know who they are, have a huge insurmountable advantage because these events are how they commute.
3. Without (even a pink-eyed) Bob Costas none of the results can be considered official, and have to go into the record books asterisked. When it comes to Olympic Winter Sports Matt Lauer is a triple klutz.
4. Who told Olympic officials snowboarding down railings was OK? It’s not and, anyway, the kind of thing you see every day on the rails of the Federal Building downtown is hardly Olympian.
5. Despite, or perhaps because of, the games being in Russia, it would have been nice to introduce same-sex free skating pairs, once the issue of who lifts is resolved, but only with the proviso that neither of the skaters be Will Ferrell.
That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .
Whad'ya Know? 