Cheese Us and All the News That Isn’t

string cheese


Crocuses down after early advances.

Milwaukeeans push lawn care season with snow tires on their mowers.

California drought results in Lakers drying up.

Russian nesting dolls line Ukraine border.

In Crimea, 150% vote to join Russia.

Chicago election board signs off on the Crimean vote and it’s a done deal.

Ramses II leads Egyptian vote, some irregularities suspected.

McDonalds says paying a living wage would result in  Little Bitty Mac and a 1/16 Pounder.

European Union forces American cheese makers to call Parmesan “little powdery cheese stuff in a green can.”  And Gouda just OK-a.

Mozzarella we may not mention in public or private.

They want to say string cheese is mozzarella, but, c’mon, did you ever try to peel a mozzarella?

Genetic evidence that Native Americans are Russian in origin prompts Putin to annex South Dakota.

General reaction around here is that if the CIA can find intelligence in Congress more power to them.

Weather Channel officially out of names after Winter Storm Zyxt wallops northeast.

Pretty much has to be the last winter storm unless they go to popular baby names.

Malaysian Airlines search team still missing.

Malaysian officials now believe pilots may have had something to do with flight.

Candy Crush game app valued at $7.6 billion minus the 99 cents it costs.

Always thought Bubble Popper would have the higher valuation.

Juan Pablo.

Newly discovered pygmy Tyrannosaurus thought to be ancestor of modern puggle.

The good news is that at 65, as some of us may now be, it’s ok to eat all the protein and fat you were supposed to avoid for 64 years. The bad news is you didn’t.  Well, who knew we just had to wait?

At this point may as well drink, smoke and do drugs because the demographics are in our favor.

As a bonus you get the promised full and rewarding sex life well into your 70’s we’ve all been waiting for.

Pope Francis enter year two hoping to avoid the sophomore slump.

Once Russia annexes Crimea it will be the USS small r.

Sap not yet flowing in Wisconsin but pails raring to go.

United will stream free movies to Apple iPad users and anyone sitting next to or behind them on the aisle.

Green Bay schools ban e-cigarettes after kids crush ’em out on the gym floor.

After being vomited on during her act she is now known as Lady Gag Gag.

And the Milwaukee Brewers make Hank the Dog Franchise Player to avoid Free Agency . . .

That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .

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