All the News That Isn’t



President Obama met the Dalai Lama. Or at least that’s where he told his wife he was going.

Chinese upset because they make a knockoff Dali Lama. Inflatable–have to go right up and squeeze it.

Ted Nugent does not meet the Dalai Lama.

Please no more “rocker Ted Nugent.” Off his rocker Ted Nugent, fine.

Someday he’ll pick his teeth with a loaded squirrel gun and that will be that.

Around here, we’re hoping Ted will come help Scott Walker’s campaign.

In the Art-Historygate scandal, President Obama apologizes for saying Caravaggio’s use of chiaroscuro was gratuitous. Hey, that’s all I got out of 101.

That, and way too many Mary and the Baby’s. Give me a break–supposed to be a Renaissance.

Anyway, the want ads are filled with Art Historians wanted.

Ends up costing the Russians $3,846,153,846 per gold.

USA raked in the bronze which, from a distance, looks very much like gold.

It’s just standing in that #3 spot looking up at some Canuck jumping up and down.

I don’t begrudge Canada–what else do they have? Heated steering wheels, strong beer, lot of opportunity for winter sports.

Cossacks whipping Pussy Riot with horsewhips has been made a permanent event at the Winter Games.

I’m Pussy Riot, I want Cossacks with horsewhips on the video.

Russians know how to deal with rock stars–should hand Ted Nugent over to them.

At the North and South Korea reunion, a lot of families can’t find their uncles.  Auntie doing pretty good though.

New Edward Snowden action figure brandishes a thumb drive.

Snowden was elected rector at the University of Glasgow, but got almost as many votes for rectum.

Seems like a big deal, but the race for Glasgow rector was between Snowden and Woody Allen.

Scientists find that man’s and dog’s brains very nearly identical, but dogs keep theirs a lot cleaner.

Supreme Court finds executive authority pretty much like parental authority. Illusory.

Other scientists conclude that sitting down is a disease, but it’s not the sitting down it’s the getting up.

For many over 60 sitting is a good compromise between standing and falling over. Lot of complications from falling over.

Plan to split California into 6 ungovernable states advances.

Ca-li-for-nia . I only get 4.

Mark Zuckerberg gives another kid in jeans and a hoodie $19 Billion for a makeover.

All for a very white sounding WhatsApp while the African-American app WassSup gets nothing.

Post Office announces Steve Jobs stamp will, ironically, power snail mail.

Brett Favre looks at Johnny Manziel sees young Brett Favre, Johnny Manziel looks at old Brett Favre sees good reason to learn a trade.

Other than Art History.

That’s All the News That Isn’t


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