Whad'ya Know?

All the News That Isn’t   for 4-23-18

Rudy Guiliani the powerhouse who all but eliminated littering in Time Square is added to Trump legal tag team.

My man Trump is lawyering up. Can’t seem to keep em once they get indicted.

You know he’s getting desperate when he starts going with gentile lawyers.

Usually it’s the old Archie Bunker search: the yellow pages under Lawyers, Jewish.

Speaking of whom, Lawyer/Bagman Michael Cohen will be defending himself, even though it will be all but impossible to get another home equity loan to pay off his own hookers.

Reverse mortgage maybe. Or if that Stormy Daniels ship comes in.

Could mine bitcoin using the White House computer banks.

I don’t know–not my problem. Got my own problems.

Cuba has its first leader who’s not a Castro: Ted Cruz.

Gone back to using Rafael.

Lance Armstrong has settled his fraud case against his former sponsor, the US Postal Service.

Will pay the USPS 10 million Forever Stamps.

The US missile attack on Syrian non-targets did not destroy Syrian chemical weapons but did send Tomahawk missile-maker Raytheon stock to explosive new highs.

Kim Jong Un has removed removal of American troops in South Korea as a precondition for talks but is adamant that taking back Rocket Boy! was a deal breaker.

The baboons who cooperated to free themselves from a research facility given a medal of honor & a place of their own.

Khloe Kardashian says she learned so much about motherhood from her sisters–not so much from her mom, Kris Jenner.

Except, maybe, what to look out for in a partner.

Turns out James Comey is mildly nauseous pretty much all the time, so, best not make too much of it.

People of color to get free latte at Starbucks for a week.

Choice of latte not well received by people of color.

Nobody has much to say about Trump’s second hundred days.

Oh, the days dwindle down ” September—November . . . . ”

Trump says if he gets any tougher on the Russians he will have to restage the Moscow hotel room pp party with him doing all the work.

Chris Christie’s official portrait to cost NJ taxpayers $85,000 because the state was forced to contract with a billboard painter.

People who stand are smarter but lose the advantage the minute they sit down.

The Not Much Poll asking why Paul Ryan quit at the height of his career was surprised to find that 11% or respondents thought it was to pursue Buddhism.  Less surprising was that only 17% bought the spending more time with the kids thing, while 72% thought Donald Trump poched him in the tuchise with a magazine.

Ryan, landing on his feet as always, will be the first CEO of Foxconn-Janesville in the fall–

The Not Much Poll look at who may have been tougher on the Russians than Donald Trump and found the public pretty equally divided between the Nazi army, other Russians and Anybody—-

That’s All the News That Isn’t