Archive for the ‘comedy’ category

Rabbi Twitski Twits

August 7, 2022

Rabbi Twitski Twits

Shalom my boychik Michael Feldman, he who is locked out from the twitter for making Ivana in the golf-course joke, would nevertheless like you to know the beat goes on and everything will be- I believe it is- uptight & out of sight in another 5 days & 13 hours when is freed unless they can trade Donald Trump for him oy–Shalom, also for goodbye and most of all peace–RT

Kim & Pete breakup due to bad dietary habits

where is that parking girl with my Mini Cooper?

gravesites going for $100k each at Trump Bedminster 19th Hole

Xi secretly very excited by Nancy Pelosi as his missiles indicate

China sanctions Pelosi from buying Flybar Bumper Cars, LeapFrog Choppin’ Fun Learning Pot,VTech KidiZoom PrintCam Digital Camera and Printer, Little Tikes Pelican Explore & Fit Cycle, Koosh Sharp Shot,Thames & Kosmos Gravity Bugs, LumiTEK Neon GIANT for 9 grandchildren

The Jan 6 Committee subpoenaed by The View

Trump Tells Vos to Literally Eat Shit #OnWisconsin

Trump Sues Musk Over Rights to Scheme to Mislead

Inflation Reduction Act deflates republicans

Bonanza of Irony at Mike Lindall ‘Moment of Truth’

Biggest takeaway from Friday’s Trump-Michels rally in Waukesha is Tim Michels

my uncle had CPAC and let me tell you you don’t want an anal fissure

French Physicist’s Beautiful Proxima Centauri Photo Turns Out to Be a Piece of Chorizo

-ha ha what would a piece of chorizo be doing in deep space?

Have confession to make this tweet is chorizo

At Age 10 NASA’s Curiosity Mars Rover Still Has Drive

-Ach, they all do at 10

Blue mini-Coopers flying off the lot

US to swap Alex Jones for Brittney Griner

Mexico to spend $1.5 billion to turn Trump wall into world’s longest bazaar

Musk & twitter one of those embarrassing couples shouldn’t be on the dance floor

Wisconsin calls Trump visit egregious provocation

We’re Staying Home Tonight (It’s the Patriotic Thing)

March 18, 2020

Eddie Cantor sings “We’re Staying Home Tonight” from 1943 — the last time it was the patriotic thing to do–

2020 Hindsight

December 29, 2019

                                                2020 Hindsight

 

With 2020 hindsight we look back on 20’s of the past to seek reassurance for the one upcoming–

 

1120- Walcher of Malvern, Prior of Great Malvern Priory in Worcestershire, England, drawing from his knowledge of Arabic astronomy, measures the Earth using the degrees, minutes and seconds of latitude and longitude.

1220–Genghis Khan overruns Islamic Asia laying waste to scores of civilizations and insuring himself a place in the genome of half the population of the earth–

on the other hand, Trial by Ordeal was (supposedly) abolished in England.

1320–Dante‘s Quaestio de Aqua et Terra,  a discussion of how a land and water planet like ours fits into Aristotle’s concentric elemental circles is published to mixed reviews, yet shows hints of The Divine Comedy yet to come.

1420–The long-lasting and last Imperial Dynasty of China the Qing (1420-1912) comes to power, puts the finishing touches on The Forbidden City, changing all the new bi-lingual nameplates to emphasize Harmony instead of Supremacy.

1520–Ferdinand Magellan discovers the Strait of Magellan by sailing through the treacherous, barely navigable snake of water between Chile & Tierra del Fuego, to the Pacific Ocean. While Portuguese, the always flexible Magellan claimed the strait and everything to the north for Spain.

1620–Bad year for mothers as Johannes Kepler’s is arrested for witchcraft while  French king Louis XIII defeats his mother, Marie de’ Medici, at the Battle of Les Ponts-de-Ce, Poitou.

1720–Johathan Swift begins “Gulliver’s Travels, or Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World, by Lemuel Gulliver, First a Surgeon, and then a Captain of Several Ships,” a satire of human nature and travelers’ tales.

Swift said he wrote Gulliver’s Travels “to vex the world rather than divert it”.

1820–The Venus de Milo is discovered on April 8, 1820 by a peasant named Yorgos Kentrotas, inside a buried niche within the ancient city ruins of Milos, in what was then the Ottoman Empire.

She was initially to be sold to the French, who like this kind of thing, when the Turks claimed birthright to the statue. The French intervened in Greece to stop the sale to Turkey and shipped her to Paris, where she still resides, leaving the Turkish Sultan the small consolation of executing the Greek ambassador. And the arms? Well, good thing they were lost if the reconstruction by art historian Adolf Furtwangler is anywhere near the truth.

1920–OK, the rise of Hitler and Prohibition, but the National Football League is established at a meeting at the Canton, Ohio, Hupmobile showroom between  representatives of the Akron Pros, Canton Bulldogs, Cleveland Indians, Dayton Triangles, Muncie Flyers, Rochester Jeffersons, Rock Island Independents, Decatur Staleys, Chicago Cardinals, Columbus Panhandles & Detroit Heralds.

The vision is complete when, in 1921,  the Indian Packing Company of Green Bay joins the league with Curly Lambeau’s Green Bay Packers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Return of the All-Time Classic Quiz Show!

November 11, 2019

Not this one . . .

 

This one!

The Whad’ya Know PopUp Quiz!

You cannot buy it for $64,000 1958 dollars!

Scandal-free! Yes, we all but give you the answers but

what’s wrong with that?

Ruled not gambling by US Supreme Court!

Saturday, November 16, 10 am Central on

Whad’ya Know Podcast facebook.com/whadyaknow.net/

Call in early & often at (608) 257-2616 Lyle is standing by–

Post-Apocalyptic Crow has Last Word in ‘Hollow Kingdom’

October 30, 2019

This Saturday, November 2, Kira Jane Buxton joins us with ‘Hollow Kingdom,’ a first-crow account of life after the apocalypse told by domesticated American crow S.T.–Shit Turd, if you don’t please–with wisdom about the mofos of the world imparted by his not-so-dearly departed step-dad Big Jim–

 

 

‘Hollow Kingdom,’ “a humorous, big-hearted and boundlessly beautiful romp through the apocalypse,”

is the best-selling first novel for Kira Jane Buxton, whose work has appeared in the New Yorker, the New York Times and McSweeney’s.

You can fly with the crows and over the mofos on the Whad’ya Know Podcast livecast https://www.facebook.com/whadyaknow.net/  this Saturday, November 2 at 10 AM Central–

and grab the podcast later that day on Whad’ya Know Podcast @iTunes.

Finally an apocalypse you can chuckle your way through!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whad’ya Know Testifyin’

October 10, 2019

Hi, the former Michael Feldman here, answering the question I get asked most “What ever happened to you?”

Not Much/ Not!–You?

For one thing I’ve discovered I can perfectly reproduce any Beatles solo (except Paul’s) when singing to my dog Bella.

And, no, she does not howl, but wags her little tail for more. Or maybe for a treat for sitting through it.

And for another (thing) I awoke one morning to find myself transformed into a podcaster, just like Gregor Samsa , should podcasters and cockroaches turn out to be in the same genus.

Podcasting!

Which I used to think was just playing to a middle-aged guy on a treadmill (in more than one sense) who will listen to pretty much anything to assuage the pain and blot out the cacophony of Millennial treadmills like tanks advancing.

Fact is I was wrong–turns out there are several middle-aged guys and 1 or 2 hot yoga ladies also needing my assuagence.

In fact, during our 3 so-far-year-run the Whad’ya Know Podcast, now with Lyle Anderson, raconte- & carilloneur ,

has been listened to over 600,000 times!

So, OK, probably by the same few inveterate or invertebrate Whad’ya Know obsessives (God Love ’em!).

Thanks to our medium-well demographic, I’m happy to say we have zoomed to the top of the eye charts!

Still, like yelling in the wilderness when there is no boy nor wolf, should we only rely on word of mouth we will be talking to ourselves, which is a little too much like podcasting for my taste.

That’s why we’re asking for your help–no, not donations–that’s for Patreon.com, for as little as $3/month–but by telling someone you know who you suspect may have been still sitting on their hands these past few years about the Whad’ya Know Podcast, and asking–nay, imploring them to tell their theirs, and and theirs theirs, until we, together, through the strength of our shared belief and sheer numbers will shine, like the Bard’s candle, “a good dead in a naughty world.”

Whad’ya Know Podcast–Spread the Word and That It’s Free; Spread the Word and Be Like Me

Commander in Cheat–This Saturday, June 1 on Whad’ya Know Podcast

May 28, 2019

Donald Trump loves golf. He loves to play it, buy it, build it, and operate it.

He owns 14 courses around the world and runs another five, all of which he insists are the best on the planet.

He also claims he’s a 3 handicap, never loses, and has won an astonishing 18 club championships.*

How much of that is true?

None says acclaimed sportswriter Rick Reilly in Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Trump

Rick joins us Saturday, June 1, live on the Whad’ya Know Podcast  http://www.facebook.com/whadyaknow.net/

Tee time is 10 am Central, around midnight in Seoul–

*about those 18 club championships? check it out:

 

 

L and M Morning Zoo–New to Whad’ya Know Podcast!

May 22, 2019

Coming June 8, From a Diner of a Guy’s Own it’s a Guy’s Own Summer Replacement, basically 2 guys of a certain age on adjoining stools, nowhere else to be, who disagree on the finer points of the news and just about everything else except donuts & joe.

The L&M Morning Zoo, L first cause it sounds cool, being Lyle Anderson, Anders’s son, and for M that Man of the Feld Michael Feldman. And the Zoo? Why, just a monkey howl away from us here at 1215 Drake St, Madison, where it says U Can Come on the door–and you can, almost any Saturday morning at 10 in the summ, summ, summer time, sumertime-ay-ay-ay-ime.

Rather stay in bed with a cuppa? Use your free hand to check us out on a screen near you at facebook.com/whadyaknow.net/ –if you don’t believe in facebooks how in the world do you expect to see this?

  • And, hey,  you can call in for the Pop-Up Quiz at (608) 257-2616—that’s (608) 257-2616

If all that’s still beyond your ken catch the Whad’ya Know Podcast on @iTunes!

Hark, a novel of Mental Archery, by Sam Lipsyte 5-11-19 on Whad’ya Know Podcast

May 7, 2019

So, Mental Archery, in Sam Lipsyte’s novel Hark, is the mindful yet un- approach of bow hunting your goals espoused by self-effacing guru Hark Morner in post-post apocalyptic America, i.e, here & now.

This is the kind of book, like Catch-22 or Candy, that would’ve been passed around locker to locker at Washington High, and the book which you will buy several replacement copies of all your life.

Check out just a short clip at the start of Chapter 2, with Fraz Penzig (purposely misnamed by father Franz who had been called Fraz over a public address system) on the road with Hark to spread the rudiments of Mental Archery to the seekers of Pickering, NY, once the largest producer of frozen waffles in the country–

Saturday, May 11, live on Whad’ya Know Podcast, https://www.facebook.com/whadyaknow.net/ 10 am Central–

Whad’ya Know for The Year of the Pig

February 4, 2019

Hear Ye, Hear Ye:  The State of the Feldman

 

Ms Speaker, the rest of you.

Wasn’t 2018 a great year? And the President says they will keep getting greater for the foreseeable future, or 2 years, whichever comes first.

The Whad’ya Know beat went on, miss you Sonny, in 2018, as it did in 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, ellipse, ellipse, ellipse, and so on. So forth would be overdoing it.

2019 is no exception, except for it being the Year of the Pig making me a little uneasy as you might expect, or it could be whatever this is right here which bothers me at night.

Without further adieu- Whad’ya Know for the Year of the Pig–

 

February 9           Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune cinematiste & man about town will (hopefully) tell us why The Favourite is a musical comedy, or at least what’s with the rub my leg & pass me a bunny thing–

February 16         Car Guy Tom Appel, who spends every morning cruising Chicago looking for classic if not in the good sense cars, will ostensibly tell us what’s burning rubber on the floor at the Chicago Auto Show–

February 23         Another Mother of All Quizzes! Pretty much says it all, with prizes every bit as fabulous as they ever were–call in at (608) 257-2616.

March 2                —–no show—–

March 9                In “Never Home Alone,”  biologist Rob Dunn, guides us through the more than 200,000 species living in our house, including some hot microbes who commute between home and sea floor vents–

March 16              A team of trolls working from Savushkina St, St. Petersburg, slipped Rob Sears enough material to piece together “Vladimir Putin: Life Coach,” ‘tips from the world’s most powerful man which will allow you to take control of your life and the lives of those around you’–

March 23             Helen Schulman’s not-so-fictional multiverse in “Come With Me” is built around an algorithm that allows people to play ‘sliding-door’ with virtual reality scenarios from their pasts–

March 30              —–no show—–

April, May & June: TBA  (hey, I gotta do it all!)

Join us at A House of A Guy’s Own, 1215 Drake St, Madison, where we wing it at 10:00 am Central Time. Showing up entitles you to a donut & a damn good cup o’Java.

Or watch the casing being stuffed here: facebook.com/whadyaknow.net/

Look for Whad’ya Know Podcast on @iTunes  and Soundcloud.com