Whad'ya Know?

At Johnson & Johnson, that which we bring to the Vaccine table is nothing less than our very raison d’etre: all encompassing cradle to grave care allowing us to meld our analgesics with our wound care, beauty care, oral care, skin care and baby, minus the toxic powder, care, because at Johnson & Johnson we care to care when we care for you.

Now, thanks to our legions of J&J formulators, respected within and without personal hygiene, health and beauty, we are proud to announce, in collusion with Trump Industries LLC, a breakthrough in China Virus Vaccine Care, drawing from our virtually limitless stockpile of Johnson & Johnson consumer care products, which has enabled us to have created, at warp-speed, a Neutrogena-based Vaccine with elements of Clean & Clear, One Touch Ultra and Nicorette, where Imodium meets Pepcid and Lubriderm meets Micitin, meets Tylenol PM meets Aveeno, meets BenGay, meets  Calydryl, then Benedryl, then Calydryl again, as a hint of Carefree Scent fills the lab air, and the potion is infused with some pretty big proprietary actors we’re not going to talk about but they’re PRETTY BIG, PRETTY BIG.

Today, all of us here at Johnson & Johnson are proud to announce, after weeks of

planning, testing and tweaking the first and foremost groundbreaking

Johnson & Trump Warp Speed Tanning Vaccine, currently in phase 3,

exhaustive consumer and advertising testing, with a roll out, per Executive Order,

any day now.

We are confident Johnson & Trump Warp Speed Tanning Vaccine is all the China Vaccine you and

your family will ever need!

Johnson & Johnson: Making China Virus Clean & Clear and Under Control.

Johnson & Johnson may be able to help with TBD costs of Johnson & Trump Warp Speed Tanning Vaccine, but it’s unlikely. No warranty or liability is offered or assumed by Johnson & Johnson, Donald Trump, personally or as owner of Trump Industries Consumer Medical Division LLC, or as President of the United States. Discontinue use if death, apoplexy, that thing where your head spins and you can’t talk or think, or more than 30 days of hallucinogenic or feelings you can fly occur.

This entry was posted on August 23, 2020 at 12:16 pm and is filed under facebook, podcast. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

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