2/8/16
The results from the Iowa Caucuses mean nothing–if America were like Iowa we’d be up to our knees in hog manure and our ears in tassels.
Loved the headline in the local paper “Jewish Boy Wows Hog Farmers.”
Biggest winner in Iowa is Mexico–now they don’t have to pay for the damn wall.
North Korea satellite seriously resembles Kia Soul.
Cliff Huxtable loses obstetrics license.
No evidence to charge Orange County teacher who helped prisoners escape despite the fact that all three got A’s!
Toyota will pay back thousands of minority buyers who were overcharged, but not one dime for all the white guys who got the undercoating.
Study concludes if you use marijuana every day you are probably living in Colorado.
Drug gouger Martin Shkreli calls House committee “imbeciles,” proving even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Center for Disease Control tells young women drinking wine makes you pregnant, while two beers means twins.
99 million year old Daddy Longlegs with an additional long leg a reminder that should you have an erection lasting longer than 99 million years see your doctor.
Who, hopefully, has also been preserved in amber.
First Playboy clothed issue returns full frontal nudity to the hotel mirror where it does not belong.
Feng shui expert says Donald Trump’s mouth entirely in the wrong place for him to be president.
All over but the shouting at the Super Bowl with one big question looming: will this be the last game for one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time Cam Newton?
Now we just have to wait and see if Cam thanks Olivia Munn at the MVP ceremony.
For Peyton Manning it’s pizza, pot and now this.
Here in Wisconsin the former Scott Walker, facing a sizable debt from a botched presidential campaign, seen sitting on a traffic island with sign, “Will wurk for million Dollerz.”
That’s All the News That Isn’t
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