Posted tagged ‘barrel worth more than oil’

Putin’s Wooly Mammoth and All the News That Isn’t

January 18, 2016

1-18-16

Cruz charges Trump with New York values–if he means Billy Joel I’m with him on this one.
Trump charges Cruz with Saskatoon values–Gordie Howe Bowl and that.

Republication of Mein Kampf reveals Trump’s best lines were stolen.
Hitler back in print, Cosby out–Fatherland, Ja, Fatherhood nein.

Survey finds Walmart closings way more alarming to Americans than the government being overthrown.
At least the Walmart greeters have panhandling skills.

At $30 barrel now worth more than oil.
Bottom has fallen out of sludge entirely; Keystone the pipeline to nowhere.

President Talks Sense to Congress Leaves Them Baffled.
President Obama’s last State of the Union like Mr. Cleaver sitting with his arm around the Beav times 435.
434–Eddie Rand Paul Haskell was chatting up Mrs. Cleaver.
Side note–Kim Davis came stag illustrating the state of her union.

Netflix’s Making a Murderer wins Golden Globe for best comedy.

Most of the Powerball 1.5 billion will go to repay Ted Cruz’s Goldman Sachs loan.

Reacting to another whiteout at the Oscars, the Academy has decided to award Morgan Freeman the Lifetime Achievement Award annually until further notice.
Morgan Fairchild mistakenly given it this year.

Market upside: the more the Dow sinks the simpler it will be to probate my estate.

Light seen coming from a black hole because they don’t want people to think no one’s home.

Donald Trump will not be banned from the UK but will be quarantined.

Discovery of butchered wooly mammoth in Siberia suggests Putin family goes way back.

Here in Wisconsin–Screech booked into Ozaukee County Jail–Netflix all over it.

That’s All the News That Isn’t Vladimir-Putin-Riding-a-Mammoth-95456