St Norbert’s Cheerleaders and All the News That Isn’t
1-13-15
Since Aaron Rodgers passed for 316 yards and 3 touchdowns on one leg the league has adjusted his numbers to 632 yards and 6 td’s for two.
The real question for Packers-Cowboys Ice Bowl 2 was how the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders would hold up under frigid frozen turf conditions compared to the St. Norbert’s girls, covered from head to toe and then some. In the end, nothing got through the St. Norbert’s girls defense.
President Obama blamed for quarter million job gain in December. Mostly golf course attendants and caddies.
President offers free 2 year community college tuition–they’re calling it Obamacollege, although officially it’s The Affordable Herzing Act.
Challenged Speaker John Boehner offered fall-back position as House Chaplain where no one will ever call him “squishy.” He’s not really squishy, he just grew up over a tavern where he learned to cry in his beer at an early age.
The upside of plummeting price of oil are the Rolexes and Mercedes at Saudi yard sales going for peanuts.
New Sony Walkman goes on sale for $1120, which, in 1970 dollars, is far out, man! The cassettes must be a hundred bucks each.
Competition for Space-X as Car-X attempts to put a Geo Metro in orbit.
Colorado “Good to Know” campaign reminds folks to eat it all quick before crossing 385 into Kansas. There’s a rest stop at Burlington for your convenience, and cots and munchies if you need to stay a couple of days.
North Korea has warned theaters not to show the Game of Thrones movie due to the arch villain Kim Jong Joffrey. They’re just upset because of how small Kim looks on IMAX.
Jameis in draftis. Could go firstis.
New wristband tracking device the Felon is the first tracking device that you’re not married to.
More habitable planets found but so far no hobbitable planets.
Fossils on Mars found to just be ancient condoms.
1795 time capsule found in Boston contains Paul Revere’s mileage for the midnight ride. Gotta say it’s padded–it was just a couple of furlongs and he wants 10 shillings?
Rhesus monkey taught to recognize themselves in a mirror cannot be torn away from it, or from signing ‘does this make my rump look too red’?
Looking for whoever squeezed out a 6 foot boa constrictor in a San Diego men’s room toilet–no charges, they just want to meet the guy.
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker shows he’s serious about a Presidential bid by hiring ace political consultant Wile E Coyote.
That’s All the News That Isn’t
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