Jennifer Lawrence Hot New Temp & All the News That Isn’t


Obamacare signups up 18,000% .

Only 217 total, but still.

Looks like Obama Auto Care is off the table.
Could have used Obama Homeowners.
Not to mention Obama Death & Disability. Care.

If they called it American Family Insurance Care wouldn’t have had nearly the trouble.

Kind of funny to use the Presidency as a stepping stone to insurance agent.

You can keep your old plan but it only covers old conditions you are no longer in. Now you have post-existing conditions.

Obamacare does not cover ED–Electile Dysfunction.

Boy, Christmas sure came and went, huh? Thanksgiving, OK, but moving it up to Veteran’s Day is going too far.

Then we had to move up Chanukah to keep pace; it’s now the 8 days culminating in Labor Day.

Flying Wallendas stack-up atop former Sears tower to take height title back from World Trade Tower. The Willis Tower suffers from the inevitable Big Willy nomme de plume.

Going to be hard pressed to get all 50 Shades of Grey in by Valentines Day. A lot of pressure for a date movie, anyway.

Prince Charles is 65, but never having had a job cannot retire. Like Mitt Romney.

Speaking of whom, just the slightest whiff of Romney-Regret among voters. There, it’s gone.

Like to know why Congress is so interested in “Revenge Porno” and nothing else. Government crumbles over and around them, they’re worried about their old dirty pictures turning up on the internet.

Hoping to God we’re not going to see a Ted Cruz sex tape pop up.

North Korea executes 80 for watching Real Housewives. While I think that’s extreme . . .

Real Housewives of Pyongyang? Or Atlanta? If Atlanta, justified.

Reality check: at 45% President Obama still 5 times more popular than Congress.

Congress drops any more they will be self-hating.

Francis Bacon’s triptych 3 Studies of a Really Ugly Guy sells for $142 million. Not only is that a lot of money, you have to buy 3 couches to hang them over.

1 in 3 eschews gluten while 2 in 3 of us chews gluten.

Green and Tea Parties merge to form Green Tea Party. Now if they can just get the Orange Pekoes.

Jennifer Lawrence cuts her hair short looks like the hot new temp.

Earnings disappoint and I know how they feel.

Amazon convinces Postal Service to violate yet another Sabbath for Sunday delivery.

If you’re whatshisname everybody my age knows you.

Research concludes you don’t have a weight problem you have a genetic problem.

Pentagon fears cutbacks to Triangagon.

President Obama will not only spare the Thanksgiving turkey, he will ride it into the sunset.

Fred Sanford clutching-the-heart flopping penalized in NBA.

One thing you can say about hazing in the NBA, rookies get their choice of Jonas Brothers or Hello, Kitty backpacks.

Latest Marvel superhero is a Jewish woman who needs no super powers.

Connecticut rabbi returns $86,000 found in a desk he bought, which is perfect since you don’t really have to tip a rabbi.

3.5 million year old bacteria looks fabulous. Fortunate to fall into a sedimentary layer of Botox.

Alec Baldwin’s stalker says there’s a scar on his male part but that’s common knowledge.

Asian carp walks into a bar in Sturgeon Bay. . . that’s all I got.

10 million dollar fantasy bra followed by 8 million dollar crotchless panty.

Deer that crashed into Janesville church can’t be saved due to wrong denomination.

Wisconsin Governor Walker comes out with his presidential book “Profiles in Carnage.” A Golden Book.

Packers continue unusually long pre-season.

Lambeau Leap has been moved to the Frigo Bridge.

After this season the Packers will go back to meatpacking. Still will have the great next-door rivalry with the Minnesota Hormels . . .

. . . That’s All the News that Isn’t . . .


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