Sharknado Eclipses Holsteinado & All the News That Isn’t

July 29, 2013

Thinking outside the royal box, royal baby named Mohamed Duke of Cambridge.

Baby-proofing Buckingham even as we speak.

Corgis gotta go. Little guy looks too much like a hedgehog–and corgis love hedgehog.

No response yet to Prince Harry’s offer to babysit.
Can just see that “look, I’m Michael Jackson ” moment on the balcony.

Anthony Weiner’s wife forgives Ryan Braun.

Weiner says he was not sexting he was just typing with his you-know.

The Weiners will now take their case to Dr. Phil. Tony, do you have something to say to Huma?

If he does win they will have to Weiner-proof Gracie Mansion.

Meanwhile, rather than resign over his famous secretary headlock, the mayor of San Diego will take behavior training at Sea World.

Researchers find strong evidence that the moon can hit your eye like a big pizza pie. That’s amore.

Free man in Russia Edward Snowden rushes off to KGB to see if his credits will transfer.

House bill to restrict NSA surveillance to the lamp in Tony Soprano’s basement comes up short.

Durables surge but that can’t last.

Scientists discover false memories in mice, accounting for Jerry’s horrendous accusations about Tom.

Cubs trade Alfonso Soriano to Yankees for Jumbotron and additional signage to be named later.

Meanwhile, looks like Plan B-Rod for A-Rod.

Zimmerman comes out of hiding to deliver Kate’s baby.

This just in–Zimmerman has dragged another white family out of their minivan for no apparent reason.

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Zimmerman!

Lance Armstrong in the Iowa bike race, a true riches to Ragbrai story.

Armstrong is being watched closely as he passes the ethanol tanks.

Al Jazeera television picks up the Albert Brooks sitcom “That Darn Jew!”

Shrinking arctic icecap threatens baby seal clubbing.

NASA discovers that most “near earth objects” are actually little things floating by on your cornea.

And, Sharknado eclipses Holsteinado at the box office . . .

That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .

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