Tampax in Teapot & All the News That Isn’t

7-15-13

As Russian dissident leaker Edward Snowden entitled to post at Harvard.

Reasonable dolt frees George Zimmerman.

US and China have deep differences on Hunan rights.

White House to decide whether Egypt coupe or sedan.

Leaked report says Pakistan intelligence had bin Laden salmon fishing in the Yemen.

Safest seats in airline crash are in back of the Greyhound.

Asiana now least popular baby girl name.

47% of babies have flat spots on heads, curiously the same % that grow up to be Democrats.

After aborting governorship late in term, Rick Perry says he intends to pray and just join the occasional posse.

Porn actors say measure requiring condoms violates prior restraint.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck now the Einstein of Fox & Friends.

Many at the Fed believe in self-stimulus.

Tribune gets out of newspaper business; Tribune Tower will be used for grain storage.

Justin Bieber relieves self in restaurant mop bucket to prove what a lame bad boy he is.

Appendix says Elton John nearly killed him.

Lowered arsenic levels take the kick out of apple cider.

Senate compromise on student loans creates Indentured Students Act allowing students to work off loans as serfs.

With rise in Mexican obesity North America now pear shaped.

Mental performance of 90 year-olds improves, but it’s touch and go until then.

Mets decide not to honor Native Americans during Braves home stand.

Former Laker Metta World Peace seeks asylum in Russia.

Derek Jeter gets up too quickly from chair, back on disabled list.

Women protesting abortion restrictions in Texas senate have tampons confiscated: a Tampax in a teapot?

Don’t mess with Kotex, Tex . . .

. . . That’s All the News That Isn’t

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