Pacifier Sucking and All the News That Isn’t

5-13-13

Only makes sense tax protestors should be tax exempt.

Claim John Adams as a dependent you’re going to get audited.

What’s with Chris Christie? Suddenly he’s not jolly.

After weight loss surgery, New Jersey governor Chris Christie down to Delaware governor.

Looks like a painfully thin Chris Christie in 2016.

President Obama on Syria–50 shades of red line.

Getting nowhere on Benghazi Republicans turn to Ben Gay.

ATM cyber-thieves in the process of stealing 45 million in tens.

Heritage Foundation’s 6 trillion dollar tag on immigration actually the cost of sending everybody back. Including the Heritage Foundation.

In Jerusalem, the Wailing Wall controversy solved as women are allowed to use the Kvetching Wall.

All that racket is the cicadas saying “has it been 17 years already?” at once.

Samsung’s new phone so smart it carries you around.

Bill moves forward in congress to make Pay TV Pay-Up-the-Wazoo TV.

Sincere version of Springtime for Hitler staged in Germany.

Average American can only retire when he’s ten years dead.

The “like the smell of your own” phenomenon: Americans hate congress, like their congressman.

Parents who suck their babies’ pacifiers risk projectile vomit retaliation.

People with dogs have a reduced risk of cardio-vascular disease but an increased risk of heartworm.

Pfizer will now sell Viagra online with misspelled sexually suggestive spam supposedly from someone you know.

President Obama says we have not yet crossed the red line where he makes the Jacksonville Jaguars take Tim Tebow.

Kobe Bryant sues his mom for Mothers Day, even though the damage is long done.

Under the new law in Minnesota, Minneapolitans can marry St. Paulists.

Stamp prices up again–worth a run for congress just for the franking.

Visiting Prince Harry manages to keep tunic on and curtains closed, but its only day 4.

At the movies, it’s Great Caesar’s Gatsby in 3D!
The Great Kool Aid Acid Test Gatsby.

Although Fitzgerald did write Gatsby for Viewmaster.

Governor Walker meets with the Dali Lama to see about getting some of that mandala work here in Wisconsin.

That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .

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