Rosemont Cubs and All the News That Isn’t
5-6-13
Pope Emeritus Benedict returns to the Vatican’s mother-in-law cottage.
One more pontiff and it’s the papal hat trick.
Rival group to Planned Parenthood formed: Crapshoot Parenthood.
President Obama proposes a path to citizenship that’s not across the river on someone’s back. Or a mad dash across 805 at San Diego.
Republicans try to keep a balance between keeping everybody out and getting the votes of those who slip through.
Jamestown remains suggest John Smith ate Pocahontas.
After one gun goes off at NRA convention, the hall erupts in mousetraps and ping-pong balls.
Following Jason Collins announcement, America waits for the first openly gay CPA.
Big breakthrough for basketball–this means at least 2 guys on the bench and an assistant coach are gay.
Son can’t hold a job so Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands abdicates.
But, you know, if monarchy means Queen Maxima–let’s do it!
It is now possible, using a 3D printer, to print a gun and all the organs it pierces.
If she gets out of this. Jodi Arias a shoo-in for Bachelorette. Possibly Dancing with the Defendants.
Mark Sanford takes another break from the campaign trail for the Appalachian trail. Who knew it went all the way to Argentina?
Anthony Weiner shows slight poll rise.
Apple bonds offered one-to-one for Packer stock.
Some concern that High Alert What a Buzz Whoa! gum may have caffeine in it. I prefer Climb the Walls with Your Nails gum.
Whatever–it is a convenient way to take your coffee.
Golfer V.J. Singh says his deer antlers get all dried out without the spray, but he has cut back on the rhino horn.
In child rearing news, President and Mrs. Obama say not to tattoos but will look the other way on Plan B.
Of course, if your druggist is opposed, it’s on to Plan C.
New York Yankees seek Medicare expansion.
Word out of Chicago is that next season it’s the Rosemont Cubs.
Survey finds 2 out of 3 Supreme Court justices can’t name a single American.
White House furloughs hit calligraphers hard, and
Turns out a lot of guys have “Terrorista #1” plates, but not nearly as many as “DumbAss #1” . . . .
That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .
Tags: plan c, rosemont cubs, weiner polls, yankees medicare expansion
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