All the News That Isn’t


If they don’t want these drones shot down they’ve got to paint them partly cloudy.

George W Bush becomes the first C-plus English student with his own library.

Mr. Bush was thrown out of the George W Bush Presidential Library for horsing around.

Big hit at the new library was the flight jacket and victory banner display.

Hall of bad art was a big draw.

Only reference to Iraq was Saddam Hussein’s Zippo lighter he used in the spider hole.

Do have a nice little biodiesel converter you can feed switch grass into.

Nice to see Barney again.

TSA knife policy on hold after mumblety-peg incident in break room.

Air controllers back but pilots furloughed.

TSA willing to get invasive on their down time.

The Associated Press was hacked but how smart was it to use asspress for a password?

Bill Clinton on twitter immediately followed by @monicalewinsky.

Mortgages down to 2.6%–if I thought I had 15 years I’d get one.

Dems streaming down ropes from sinking ship of state.

At traffic stop, Reese Witherspoon gets only cop who hasn’t seen Legally Blonde.

Thatcher tomb found vacant with rock rolled back.

Elvis leaves federal building.

Durable goods plunge as people don’t expect things to last.

NRAARP for old gunslingers.

Gold is down so I guess I’ll keep the fillings.

White House Science Fair called off due to castor bean project.

Correspondents dinner proves President Obama would be doing a lot better if this whole thing were a joke.

Syria says chemical is actually Roundup for the broadleaf.

Justin’s career spin; is he Amy Winebieber?

Syrian Electronic Army vs. People’s Liberation Army Unit 61398 in the hacker finals.

If there are wmd’s in Syria time to invade Iran.

Manti taken in by nice family.

Non-union ding dongs shall never pass these lips.

Clenching of the fists aids both IQ and BM.

Monkeys understand the more obvious social gestures, such as red rump in your face and fecal hurling.

Koala chlamydia–what happens when everyone wants to hug you, and

In the new Guys & Dolls, Channing Tatum a natural for Nicely Nicely Johnson . . .

That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .

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