All the News That Isn’t
2-4-13
Beyonce wears that outfit to the Inaugural nobody notices she’s not singing.
Beyonce was great, but what a time to forget your pants.
Baltimore Harbaughs take it to the San Francisco Harbaughs.
East Coast/West Coast thang.
Whatever else you can say about Ray Lewis, at least he doesn’t point to God after creaming somebody.
Had two sisters been coaching would’ve been a much bigger story.
Close game, though–Jack must have treated those 2 boys pretty equal.
Recall on Mercedes Superdomes–wiring problem.
In other news–
Republicans welcome immigrants with open guns.
NRA’s Wayne LaPierre has never heard of a silencer.
Senate gun bill covers everything but guns.
Space monkey returns to day job as president of Iran.
President Obama offers contraception compromise: withdrawal with prejudice.
Birth control one of those things you hate to compromise on.
Boy Scouts offer Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell badge.
Next for the Boy Scouts–Jews. Yet to meet a Jew who can tie a knot.
John Kerry approved as Secretary of State without anybody asking “why the long face”?
Housing prices on the rise–up to $40 on Mediterranean Avenue. Still sluggish on Baltic.
Grandma, what big retina displays you have!
Lindsay Vonn rubbing off on Tiger Woods.
Economy contracts on weak gun sales outside the US. Guys, save some for export!
The Calm Act, supposed to lower the volume of commercials, goes into effect.
I SAID THE CALM ACT IS SUPPOSED TO LOWER THE COMMERCIALS VOLUME!
The commercials are just as loud, but my hearing is softer.
Dow hits 14,000 but I don’t feel it. 14,000 what? Points? Like they used to have on the back of Tareytons? Must get something pretty good for 14,000 points.
Should Bud take over Modelo Brewing they will have to pry the Corona out of my cold dead mano.
Golfer VJ Singh admits using curry.
Last Manti Te’O joke: Manti Te’O admits torrid 2 year affair with Flo from Progressive Insurance, and
Ben Affleck nominated for Best Beard but Lincoln grabs Top Hat . . .
That’s All the News That Isn’t
Tags: beyonce forgets pants, birth control compromise, boy scouts dont ask tell
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