All the News That Isn’t
12-17-12
The most unusual thing about the North Korean satellite is it only orbits North Korea.
Now North Dakota’s going to want its own satellite.
This just in, the North Korean satellite has provoked extra-terrestrials to invade our galaxy.
Americans behind President Obama on the fiscal cliff and pushing.
Patriot missiles have been deployed to the fiscal cliff.
Fickle Cliff, at least we’d have a chance.
Poll finds women have more problem with body image than fiscal cliff. The exception being women who tend to put on weight around the fiscal cliff.
Obama to Boehner: call me maybe.
Next in Michigan: right to kick yourself in the butt.
Right to work yourself over.
Right to shirk.
Be real surprised if this labor climate doesn’t bring back Henry Ford.
In other news,
Greece sold for parts.
Pope tweets DANIEL CRAIG BEST BOND YET. In caps–well, he’s a newbie.
Figures that the Pope only follows himself.
Can’t wait till he’s on Craigslist. All that designer stuff.
Some progress as President Obama has fossilized lizard named after him.
Space telescope peers back to when it was just a gleam in Hubble’s eye.
Rice got to be Condoleeza to get anywhere in this country.
President’s short list to head State Department:
Secretary of State Oprah.
Secretary of State Rihanna.
Some movement for Ndamukong Suh.
Larry King’s not doing much. Knows a lot of people.
Groundswell for Secretary of State Bilbo Baggins.
Please, not John Kerry “Deputy Dogging” it around the world.
John Kerry walks into the bar. Horse says, why the long face?
Methane river on Saturn’s moon Titan named Cuyahoga.
President Obama will not go after Colorado and Washington for legalizing pot, but he will go.
Mercedes worth half of BMW–I’ll take two!
McAfee held in maximum security suite for ninety day trial.
In hissy fit, NASA smashes spacecraft into moon.
Snoop Dogg down to 81 blunts a day.
Bounty suspensions against New Orleans dropped since Saints are their own worst enemy.
Upside of Justin Bieber castration threat: would gain an octave.
Only surprise–didn’t come from Selena.
And, the UW Badgers going to the Rose Bowl again! That’s great, but a close second is Minnesota going to the Meineke Muffler Bowl . . .
. . . That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .
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