All the News That Isn’t

12-3-12

So, then, the Romney free lunch at the White House–wouldn’t that be an entitlement? Better declare it on his taxes, if any.

Turns out he’s part of the 47% he was complaining about.

In other News that Isn’t . . .

Charges that Egyptian president Morsi seeks to be Pharaoh increase when constitution written in hieroglyphics.

If he’s OK with the embalming, let him be Pharaoh.

Something pretty bad must have happened to the Egyptians to be that touchy about Pharaohs.

Don’t get it–Jews did all the work on the pyramids. That’s why we got out of the trades.

Two winners in the Powerball 600 million dollar tax liability.

One was a mechanic–boy, are his rates going up. Million/hr?

Palestine gets upgrade from Isnotrael.

Hamas leader to star in 77 Gaza Strip.

President Obama makes counter-intuitive plea to avoid economic chaos from the Tinkertoy factory.

It’s a Fiscal Cliffhanger.

Republemmings starting to stream over the edge.

It’s manmade, so not truly a cliff. More of a Fecal Cliff.

Maybe if we all stopped saying Fiscal Cliff it would just go away.

Speaker Boehner is playing Whack-a-Mole in the house.

The Weather Channel names its first winter storm Bejeezers.

European Union trades Greece to Third World for a country to be named later.

Geneticists say half of all human mutations have occurred since the advent of the Tea Party. Ironically, people who don’t believe in evolution are evolving the most.

New home sales stagnant and don’t smell too good either.

Republicans continue to believe Benghazi is a red state.

Beginning to lose patience with Lindsay Lohan. Liz Taylor got past National Velvet, Lindsay has to get past Mean Girls.

Looks like Lindsay Lohan is out of the running for Secretary of State.

North Korean missile capable of hitting South Korea collides with South Korean missile capable of hitting North Korea.

New plan for the Fiscal Cliff from the English Department: call it Heathcliff and let Emily Bronte deal with it.

Don’t Tickle-Me Elmo sales surge for Christmas.

Rutgers Red Knights and Maryland Terrapins rush to assemble football programs before entering Big 10.

Madison West will join Big 10 soon as they’re all 18.

Cows struck by milk truck in Green County adding insult to injury.

One would hope the rest home cafeteria was not picking mushrooms from the lawn for their soup.

Chicago man who wrestled a goose into his SUV says he was going to take it to his brother’s right after his soccer game.

PGA bans belly putters just when I get the belly for one.

Guy could sink a pretty long putt with this belly.

Huge oil discovery leads to the United Arab Inuits.

Small business owners pessimistic, but, then, maybe they shouldn’t go into small business.

Consumers optimistic they can spend as little as possible.

Scientists discover new smell, can’t tell where coming from.

UW Badgers win their last Big 10 championship before they have to face Rutgers to get there.

And, no deer for Wisconsin Governor Walker this hunt, but he did bag a home ec teacher and a pretty good sized veteran . . . .
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That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .

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