All the News That Isn’t 7-30-12
Kristen’s status way complicated.
Robert Pattinson moves native soil out of Kristen’s cellar.
Fortunately, vampire couples have infinity to work it out.
After Romney visit Anglos not speaking to Saxons.
The Sun only led with Mitt the Twit because nothing rhymes with Rupert.
Romney was disconcerted by the squadron of Mary Poppins paratroopers, and uncomfortable with a blind person winning the archery gold.
A lot of seats empty at London Olympics after crowd fails drug test.
Not winning the gold, but Michael Phelps saved a bunch on car insurance.
English children said to be very afraid of closing ceremony.
Not many in the seats, but Lord Coe has been stuffed to the gunnels.
After rave reviews in her Olympic cameo, the Queen will appear as Corgi Galore in the new Bond release Goldsceptre.
Romney says Salt Lake City Israel’s capital.
Romney taps money changers in temple for a million shekels.
In return, Romney gets the west bank settlements a Utah zoning variance, and will outsource the Israeli attack on Iran.
On the tourist side in Israel, Romney leaves a pamphlet in the Wailing Wall and sees the spot in Jerusalem where the salamander pushed back the rock from Jesus’ tomb.
In his shalom and farewell, Romney quips Palestinians are Jews without connections.
Rising fear in Poland Romney will open with a joke.
Asked if is the Democratic keynote speaker Bill Clinton says depends what is is.
Sarah Palin calls Cheney selection of Bush a mistake.
Chick-fil-a says marriage is between one hen and one rooster.
At least Colonel Sanders never told us how to live.
Around here, we’re just glad it was Chick-fil-a and not Usingers Sausage.
iPhone 5 delayed due to cloning problem with Jobs stem cells.
For Republican conventioneers in Tampa there will be a thin line between Busch Gardens and strip clubs.
The Democrats are hoping to attract people looking for the boat show.
Facebook drops 15% after a disappointing timeline.
Amazon enters the marriage fray by offering super saver same sex shipping.
Apple releases Tony the Tiger OSX. Had to run out of big cat names eventually,
And Wisconsin’s Governor Walker speaks to Harvard’s edjookashun conference,
. . . That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .