All the News That Isn’t

June 27, 2011

Circumcision no longer covered by Medicaid– but isn’t it a little late by then, anyway?

Talks with Taliban on, with congress off.

Talks with congress bog down in Biden.

New York, New York marriage passes. Same borough marriage.

Breaking his silence on same-sex marriage, President Obama says if he had it to do all over again it might be Craig and not Michele Robinson. Could work on his game.

President pulls 30,000 Taliban out of Afghanistan.

Vatican approves withdrawal.

President declares all bags fly free out of Afghanistan.

Critics of withdrawal says 10 years is abrupt.

Surge backwards very nearly spells egress.

Well, he’s young, there’ll be other surges for him.

Could take a while though–the British have been withdrawing from Afghanistan since 1842.

Obama approval numbers down to must kill soon.

Be kindest to put Newt to sleep. They shoot Newts, don’t they?

All his advisers quit and Calista doesn’t show for dinner.

Fed head Bernanke admits getting a B-minus/C-plus in econ.

Gates approves gays in private life.

Ron Paul must be high. LSD, too, judging by Rand.

Bristol Palin has a new book out “Not Afraid of Stupid.”
Mostly a response to Levi’s book “I’m With Stupid.”

May be the first time an author has written a book without having read one.

Kid who plays for the beer hole wins the US Open.

Hef to adopt instead of marry.

Hef may go with same-sex marriage–he’s been courting Mitch McConnell.

Jon Huntsman launches “Yes We Can-Can” campaign.

Primarily known as the man the Obamas sent out for Chinese.

Seizing opportunity, Michele Bachman to manage Washington Nationals.

NATO says it shoots anything with Libya, Libya, Libya on the label, label, label.

FDA cigarette warnings imply blowing smoke out your tracheostomy hole not sexy.

First Greek austerity measure as Parthenon goes condo.

John McCain says Arizona fires the result of spontaneous alien combustion.

Paul McCartney favored over Cubs at Wrigley Field.

Supreme Court rules Walmart can pay women everyday low wages.

Wisconsin Governor Walker signs slash and burn budget, now wife Tonette must give birth to the devil’s baby.

President releases 60 million barrels of oil–your job, grab some buckets and find out where.

Southwest pilot turns out to be 62, gay and ugly.
Feel free to move about your mouth.

Glen Campbell–by the time I get to–where was it again?
Glen, you are in Phoenix.

Scientists discover some people remember everything and they are all women . . .

. . . That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .

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One Comment on “All the News That Isn’t”

  1. Mike Corwin Says:

    Finally! A humorist (that would be Feldman) for somewhat intelligent folk (that would be me and my ilk). It’s fun to laugh at stuff that incorporates an above-average vocabulary and a good grasp of current events. (And I can’t think of a better word than “stuff” — it really nails it.)


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