Posted tagged ‘lemmings wanted & all news that isn’t’

All the News That Isn’t

November 12, 2012

11-12-12

OK so who gets the binders of women?

I am so relieved to be able to plan parenthood again. In retrospect, but still.

Paulie Ryan’s back in the House, not making eye contact. What can you say about a guy who can’t deliver Janesville?

It’s all good. Joe Biden can be Joe Biden.
Paul Ryan can take another look at the figures.

Mitt Romney can strip him some assets.
The President’s ground game forces can tackle global warming.

President Obama getting all weepy, though. When he and Speaker Boehner get together the dam is going to burst. The Fiscal Dam.
Inundate the Fiscal Valley.

I’ve got post-electum. When you feel nobody’s out to get you any longer.

No robocalls, no spam, nothing but Hong Kong Cafe menus on the doorknob.

Used and abandoned. What gives? Am I not a middle-class man?
A little help here!

Still, nice to have the time to leisurely pick through elective surgeries. I’m thinking Obama cosmetic care.

President Obama’s second term all about climate change. Me, I do climate change first term, get it out of the way, second term a no-brainer like gum recession.

In other news that isn’t, if any–

You can now smoke pot in Colorado, but its a drag being arrested when you’re high.

After the President’s reelection anti-Obama movie goes straight to power point.

Much GOP soul searching; so far, nothing.

The Petraeus affair comes down to do you want a good biography, or don’t you?

‘All In’, all right, but the headline writers have to stop with the ‘imbedded’ already.

All this could have been avoided if Petraeus had been appointed to head the Secret Service.

Next guy who says “fiscal cliff” gets it. Oops.

At least call it the FC. Except KFC wouldn’t like it.

Is that a fiscal cliff or are you unhappy to see me?

Think that new super earth has a super fiscal cliff?

Does not a fiscal cliff imply fiscal lemmings? And who might they be?

Anyone come up with fiscal cliff notes?

And, is it really a fiscal cliff or just adjacent to the fiscal hole?

Everybody says ‘fiscal cliff’ a hundred times fast it will lose its magic powers.

Anyway,

A rich man getting into heaven may still be a camel through a needle, but an oil executive is now Archbishop of Canterbury.

Good news–its not Tony Hayward.

Romney Loss Re-Examined. Yup, still there.

Republicans look at salsa lessons to close Latin gap, and

Man had tools 70,000 years ago but forgets where he left them.

That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .