Posted tagged ‘I fell with walker’

Pope Donald I and All the News That Isn’t

September 28, 2015

9-28-15

So far, no I Fell With Walker bumper stickers.
Scott’s back home, but listless and out of sorts.
Not the Scott-free kid we’re used to.
Put the Harley up on blocks and ran the gas out.
Could have gone on the Milwaukee Bucks “Own the Future” bus tour, with Bango and the Bucks dancers, but his heart wasn’t in it.
Just needs something to take his mind off all this–and he already came up with a doozy of an idea–
A wall along Wisconsin’s border with the UP. Show the Yoopers we are unintimidated.

Super blood moon lunar eclipse and sure enough Johnny Manziel started.

Following the drug company’s lead, aspirin is now $147.50 a tablet.
And you’re gonna need 2.

Pope Francis met with President Obama–got along so well the result is “The Pontiff and the POTUS,” this fall on Fox.

The Pope’s speech in Congress was interrupted by genuflections 37 times.

Pope Francis spoke to the United Nations, although it’s not the first time someone has pontificated at the UN.
But the first time it was justified–he is the Pontiff.
The Pope told the nations of the world a fleet of intergalactic spacecraft is headed this way, and we have three months to forget national differences and learn a little catechism.
And don’t forget the Pagan Babies fund.
Pope Francis also asked if anybody could use a sweet Syrian couple he acquired–they’re really overstaffed at the Vatican, Swiss guards and all.
The Pope said the deal with Iran was a good thing, but that he would not be talking with the Lutherans. Too soon!
Some were surprised at his stance on global warming, but, hey, you try cooling the Vatican in Rome in August.
The Pontiff also attacked the boundless thirst for wealth and power, and, believe me, Donald Trump took it personally. He was bleeding all over the place.
Trump responded characteristically, telling the Pope, “You’re Fired!”
In response to the Pope’s speech, the Lakers acquired Meta World Peace and John Boehner quit.
Speaking of the lame-duck House leader, tapped to succeed Boehner as Speaker is Kentucky clerk Kim Davis.

Uber is banned in Brazil. The old Nazis in Brazil are a little uncomfortable with Uber.

Sprint offers to cut couple’s 2 million dollar Verizon bill in half.

Ben Carson says he would not vote for the Pope.

Drop in oil prices reduces oil sludge to just plain sludge.
Not much interest in the Keystone Sludgeline.

Brian Williams now claims he covered the Pope.

Ask your doctor if you can have sex–if he’s not willing find another doctor.

House of Unrepresentatives votes down Planned Parenthood, gives every child who was planned 30 days to get out.

VW’s catch phrase–Fahrvergnügen–actually means fix (fahr) the software (vergnugen).

General Petraeus promises he will not invite the next one into his quarters to see his classified documents.

So far all they’ve got for the Apple Car is Gorilla Glass all around.
Looks a lot like the AMC Pacer.
Did update the Apple watch–now you can tell the time on one.

Microsoft Office 2016: now with cubicles!

Final thoughts on Scott Walker–
You know here, in Wisconsin, we were selfishly hoping he’d win.

That’s All the News That Isn’tpope don