Posted tagged ‘Feldman: The Tweet of the Union’

The Tweet of the Union

January 26, 2011

President Hu wanders into the chamber looking for the buffet.
Men’s Warehouse appears well represented.
Hillary looks nice but who’s watching Bill?
Prez does not lead with sputnik moment.
All part of the American Family . . . insurance?
Let’s work together, c’mon, c’mon, let’s work together.
Poised for platitudes.
Need better yardsticks
Need to be more Asian.
America clinging to the lead in everything.
Need to out the rest of the world.
There is no no in innovation. Oh wait. No ovation anyway.
Thanking Al Gore for internet.
Michigan roofers have shingles.
Clean energy fails to stir a breeze.
Short teachers a problem.
Race to the top lost a total of one million pounds.
Packers diss? Celebrate science bowls not super bowls. right.
Baby boomers should retire already and free up some jobs.
Got 70,000 no work no show jobs at Kia.
Undocumented students doing good but do they turn in papers?
Likes his trains like he likes his women. OK he didn’t say that. But that’s how he likes his trains.
More convicts shoveling more asphalt into more holes. Infrastructure repair.
Better and more internets.
Titillates crowd with lowering corporate tax rates.
Regulation regulation.
Willing to modify health care to heal care.
All conditions pre-existing.
We owe the national debt a debt.
Domestic freeze begins at home.
Calls for eliminating plane engines?
Medical malpractice reform and more doctors suing lawyers.
Spend your tax cuts quick!
Interior and Commerce fighting over salmon. This is silly.
Pols see through call for transparency.
Iraq is like so 2008.
Leaving Afghanistan for Pakistan.
Start treaty makes mutual assured destruction more affordable.
Tunisia nice this time of year.
Troops asking and telling can only be good.
So much to do so little term.
Defies congressmen to leave for another country.
Mentions sweeping floor in dad’s bar just to make Boehner cry.
And what about those Chilean miners!
Beyond the blue horizon waits a beautiful day
That’s it! Missed the damn sputnik moment!