12-12-11
Only 347 shopping days til Black Friday.
Rick Perry says kids in school can only celebrate Christmas if they’re openly gay.
Syria’s Assad says only a madman would talk to Barbara Walters. Refuses to say what type of tree he would hang from.
President Obama down to bragging about the Osama hit. Not like he was at the controller.
The drone again. On and on about the drone. Over and over and over. Drone this, drone that. Drone the other.
The good news is that the Iranians actually recovered a Chevy Volt–and they’re designed to burst into flame on impact.
Judging by the pictures, the Iranians got themselves a Roomba robotic vacuum. They can reverse engineer it and finally get a working flying carpet.
Anyway, the drone is completely useless without the XBox.
In other news–
Fox exec waves a list of 171 known communists on Sesame Street.
Suspicions were raised after the Muppets won the Russian elections.
Kermit says “It ain’t easy being Red.”
In his latest flip-flop, Romney says he never was Mormon, really.
Romney says he’s been married to the same women for 42 years.
Iowans liken Newt surge to a boar in the hog pond.
Gingrich says Iowans an invented people.
Trump debate down to him and Newt and a bottle of Wesson.
Mail slowdown means I’ll only get the Shopper Stopper every other day.
Even Jesus didn’t come back as often as Tim Tebow.
Kentucky church will now accept anybody not from Tennessee.
Spare the Rod spoil the Blagojevich.
With 3 governors the Illinois State Pen could use a little help from the other branches of government.
Albert Pujols will serve three 10-year contracts concurrently.
250 million is the most a man named pooh hole has ever earned.
What do they expect to find strip searching elderly ladies? Depends.
Unfortunately, the plane was on the ground when they ejected Alec Baldwin.
What’s surprising about the Facebook security hole is that Mark Zuckerburg has private pictures. Not so surpising is that they’re of him with a chicken.
Putin says Hillary caused the Russian masses to riot–must be her new Lenin-like ‘do.
Study finds more empathy in rats than in US Congress.
If they’re bringing back the Dodge Dart they better bring back the rust proofing package, and
My estate’s in order: Packers stock and 3 magic beans . . .
. . . That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .
Whad'ya Know? 