Posted tagged ‘dogs heaven’

Molotov! and All the News That Isn’t

December 15, 2014

12-15-14

After a disastrous first start for the Browns it’s now Jiminy Football Cricket.
LeBron gets a little too cavalier with Kate Middleton.
Taking this King James thing a little too seriously—doesn’t give him any special privileges with a future queen.

Will may not have the right stuff for the throne if he pretends to examine a jersey while Kate is getting elbowed under the boards.

Congress, like the rest of us, chooses paying its bills over suicide.

Court orders Texas to reveal where it gets its execution drugs—if it urns out to be CVS it kind of negates the whole cigarettes thing.

Pope Francis says dogs can go to heaven but not without stopping every three feet to stick their noses in something that’s not going to make it there.
St. Bernards, I assume, will have priority boarding. Have to lose the brandy.

The Pope was given a CD by a singing nun with her version of “Like a Virgin” on it.
But, shouldn’t it have been “Like The Virgin”?

Facebook will feature a dislike Zuckerberg button.
Thinking about a ‘meh’ button for when you don’t like or dislike.

Gas prices drop any more leisure suits will come back.

Consumer sediment piles up to 8 year high.

Paul Revere’s 1795 time capsule found to contain a coupon for Revereware.

Scientists have found a way to convert your bad white fat to good brown fat if you don’t mind being lightly sautéed.

The full text of Governor Rick Perry’s ‘Running for President’s not an IQ test’ reads ‘Luckily, running for President’s not an IQ test.’

Cubs acquire another pitcher to regift.

Poor sperm quality attributed to bad technique.

Lake sediment on Mars shows what Minnesota will look like in a few years.

Torture bad enough but CIA forced terror suspects to sing along with Barney’s ‘I love you, you love me.’

The Darwin Report finds a surprisingly low 90% of all idiotic acts resulting in unnecessary death are performed by men.

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker wishes Jewish supporters ‘Molotov!’ during the Chanukah season—
Mr. Governor, Molotov to you and yours as well!

Governor Walker made up for his gaffe by lighting the giant magilla in the state capitol—and I mean the whole magilla!
That’s All the News That Isn’tcocktail-party-590x442