Shy Sperm and All the News That Isn’t


White House turkey cut down by hundreds of rounds of automatic fire after being freed.
Still some good eatin’ thought if you pick trough.

On his rearranged map of the US, drawn from memory, Ben Carson gives New Hampshire Atlantic beachfront lengthwise in the hopes it will be a difference maker in the primary.

Trump anti-Muslim tirade is really frustration at his casinos being shut out of the Emirates. Trump Dubai–goodbye.
Trump was a hit of sorts at the Latin Grammies if “cerdo de mierda hijo de puta” means you’re the man.

Allegan and Pfizer merge into Gesundheit.

Innovative junior high “make a terrorist recruiting poster” assignment victim of the times.

Not saying everyone’s jumpy, but somebody on a Spirit flight let one go and they returned to Ft. Lauderdale.
Peanuts, too–the worst.

Genetically modified salmon already brined, smoked and sliced thin approved by the FDA.
And it’s been approved for Passover.

The gene for “bad drunk” has been found but so far no luck finding the “a round for the house” gene.

Dow jumps 150 points–if a world in chaos is what it takes for my IRA, so be it.

Coffee is good for longevity, so your coffee will get cold long before you do.
If you can find a place that still gives free refills you could live forever.

With the new Facebook ‘get off my damn feed’ tool it’s easier to break up without blocking them, which leads to it’s complicated you don’t want.
Now if I can just get my wife on Facebook.

Sad story here in Madison as Little Oscar is found crying in the former Oscar Meyer parking lot after his Weinermobile is repossessed.
Local cows the only ones not sad about Oscar Meyer leaving.

Women want a sperm donor who’s smart and shy but it’s almost impossible to get it from him.

Aids testing up 300% after Charlie Sheen announcement.

That’s All the News That Isn’tscience-test-tube copy

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