Apostle Starbucks Cup and All the News That Isn’t

To make up for the insult to Jesus, Starbucks will write an apostle’s name on your cup.
Matthew–mocha grande latte skinny no whip.
Just a color scheme. Now zealots are saying Red Green hates Jesus.
Of course, some of us thought the holiday cups should be blue and gold, but we’re used to the slight.
Thought Dunkin’ Donuts Dunkin’ Jesus was in poor taste, though.

Budget deal turns out to be final solution for baby boomers. Cuts to Social Security, Medicare and Viagra coverage.
Wife stopped taking lady Viagra–gives her a headache.

Modifying his rhetoric, Donald Trump now says Ben Carson is the child molester type.
Like a pathological liar can’t be president. Have to be to get that far.
Anyway, you’d thing a pathological blowhard would be a bit more sympathetic.

Day one President Trump will deport Rubio (although the cheerleader can stay) while it’s electroshock for Ben Carson.

We’ll know Marco Rubio has made a breakthrough when kids in the pool answer Rubio! to Marco!

Jeb Bush on Rockstar Energy IV’s.
Left to Jeb, baby Hitler grows to a ripe old age.

Campbell’s recalls 355,000 cans of Spaghetti-O’s for Spaghetti-Type O’s.

At Joe’s Crab Shack now you only have to tip in months with ‘r” in them.

Russia is doped from the top on down. Something in the borscht.

The 2 Chinas are talking, Obama and Netanyahu meet–next my wife and I will enjoy a quiet meal together.

Orange Friday the new Black Friday.
Don’t know what useless thing I don’t want I’m prepared to fight over.

Utah judge’s order reversed and now lesbians are being given babies right and left.

Mormon church says same-sex multiple marriage not needed since we already have football teams and women’s rowing.

Obesity still on rise among Americans but many claim it’s good fat.

Longest Yard Scenario for Packer’s collapse suggests estrogen in their feed.
But, I tell you, they’re a much more compassionate team.
Clinically obese Eddie Lacy benched, but he just snacks on the bench.

The former Scott Walker lets it be known he’s available for vice-presidential duty, but is willing to start in the mailroom.

That’s All the News That Isn’t dollar cup

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