Have You Seen My El Chapo Stick and All the News That Isn’t


Kinda sad when the only thing you’re qualified for is running for president.

To counter the Iran deal Republicans will enrich their own uranium.
With the agreement Iran will be able to pursue the peaceful use of nuclear weapons.
Hard to beat a sword into a plowshare.
Suppose you could plow with swords.

Still looking for the gerbil-like El Chapo in Mexico.
Authorities say there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
But that’s it.
And what a tunnel, and with the cost-saving for a guy named Shorty.
To the people of Mexico El Chapo is what The Donald is to us.

Iran’s conservatives may enter the GOP race.

Trump pulls ahead of Hispanic-lite Jeb Bush just to make a point.

New Horizons-not the tampon, the Pluto flyby craft–will just keep on going into space forever.
20 more conscious years to dwell on nothing but the glory days.

Tiger Woods is in his Ali-fight-a-kick boxer days.

Duggars cancelled–19 residuals and counting.

Rapture unexpectedly pulls Scott Walker out of Republican race.
Looks like Scott wins big time.

Mel Gibson to platy Attica Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird 2.
Danny Glover will play Tom Robinson.

Merriam Webster adds the phrase “Greek Exit” to the lexicon.

Pluto nice but location, location, location.

Medicare’s biggest problem still being mistaken for Mediocre.

Boy Scout leaders say several of Scott Walker’s troop leaders were, in fact, gay.
More than one patch was.

Americans divided over same-sex and regular sex marriage both.
So I guess it’s marriage that’s divisive.

Stipulated in the Iran deal is that Iran will now refer to the US as “the not-so-great Satan.”
American officials will cease and desist with all ‘haggling with rug dealers’ references.

A new degree of difficulty arises: like trying to find 50 million year old worm sperm in Antarctica.
A lot tougher than flying past Pluto and taking pictures.

Klan doing a Confederate flag retrospective at the South Carolina capitol.

Bush-Walker ticket unlikely since sounds too much like bushwhacker.

Restaurant food no healthier than fast food but a much quicker in and out.

That’s All the News That Isn’t

A photographer exits a tunnel connected to the Altiplano Federal Penitentiary and used by drug lord Joaquin 'El Chapo' Guzman to escape, in Almoloya de Juarez, on the outskirts of Mexico City, July 14, 2015. Mexican authorities must have colluded with Guzman to enable the country's top drug lord to escape from a maximum security prison at the weekend, Interior Minister Miguel Angel Osorio Chong said on Monday. Guzman sparked a massive manhunt after escaping from Altiplano prison on Saturday night in a mile-long underground tunnel that led from his cell into a deserted building, dealing a bitter blow for President Enrique Pena Nieto. REUTERS/Edgard Garrido

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