S Carolina Goes Back to Pirate Flag and All the News That Isn’t


This just in, Donald Trump has broken the shackles he was held in at NBC, is now climbing Trump Tower with Rachel Maddow is his giant paw.

Pope Francis clarifies his remarks by saying that fettered capitalism does not in the least reek of “the dung of the devil.”

Jeb Bush says his brother Neil, the only Bush to ever hold a job, needs to work longer hours.
Jeb raises an unprecedented 114 million dollar war chest just to show Neil what working harder can do.

Ariana Grande takes a flying lick at a rolling doughnut.
Grande says she does not hate America she hates the band America (Horse With No Name).

Very emotional ceremony at the lowering of the Greek flag.
Settlement has been reached in Greece; the new exchange rate is 1 euro = 1,000 gyros.
Comedy is easy, Drachma is hard.
Sometimes seems like the Greeks are their own worse Trojans.

Donald Trump has been waiting for a drink on the beach at Trump Ocean Resort in Baja Mexico for 45 days now.
Had the same sheets since April.

United is flying again although you wouldn’t know it.

South Carolina goes back to the pirate flag.

Bernie Sanders may not get the nomination, but he has his pick of any number of older women. And a couple of very needy younger one’s as well.

NASA flyby reveals Pluto is, indeed, orange and shaped like a dog.
Black antenna tail. Big toothy grin. Long but expressive Ears.

Darn near impossible to find a Subway sandwich or a Puddin’ Pop for love nor money.

By the way, that was not a Bill Cosby statue removed from Disneyland, that was Bill Cosby.

Milwaukee votes shows Milwaukeeans decisively reject $500,000 for new Bucks home in favor of power-washing the Bradley Center.
4 guys making a living wage for 2 weeks, industrial power washers, miscellaneous soap, hoses, tarps, permits, etc, $20,000.
For a savings of $499,980,000.

South Carolina draws the line at Dixie Cups.

Pitch Perfect 3 will be a Tuvan Throat Singing competition in Mongolia.
Fat Amy says “Gonna eat him like a cheesecake.”

Ted Cruz’s book “A Time for Truth” removed from best seller lists when it was discovered he bought them all.
Had to–his people don’t read.

In Wisconsin, an open records request reveals that Walker, Texas Ranger is not Scott’s dad. Walker says “I may have misspoke-en.”

Wisconsin Legislature voted worst deliberative body since Spanish Inquisition.

Scott Walker rises Phoenix-like from the ashes and straight into the fire of the Presidential race.


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