Tales From the Crypt and All the News That Isn’t


The State of the Disunion–bad sign when the only applause the President gets is for not running again.
Although “Won both of them” not a bad riposte.
Could have been worse–President Obama skipped over all the golf metaphors: dog-leg to the right, no time for the yips, etc.
Rich paying taxes good punch line.
The Republican response blamed Deflategate on Obama.

Hillary has a double-digit lead over everybody for 2016, or it just may be double-vision from that nasty fall she took.
As long as she stays out of those black frames it’s hers to lose. Which, she’s proved before, she can do.

Joe Biden making noises like Joe Biden.
Tough running against a woman who–put a powdered wig on her–is a ringer for the Father of our Country.
Plugs and a nice set of choppers may not do it for Joe.
People write off Joe Biden but George W proved that a gaffe-a-minute guy can be President of the United States.

Republican rogues gallery filling up–for the debates be using the Tales From the Crypt set.
Big surprise–Romney doesn’t get it.
Missing in action Herman Cain, lovable rogue, and Michele Bachmann, not so much.
Rick Sanitorium.
So far not a squeak out of Paulie Ryan–probably going over the numbers.
Takes him a while–C+ in math at Janesville Parker.

Ayn Rand Paul no Ron Paul, that’s for sure.
Newt got all limbs cut off last time, but this is the first time none grew back.
Mike Huckabee–trailer’s still a-rockin’ so don’t come a-knockin’. That Beyonce coming through the screen?
Rick Perry, still wearing the glassless frames, still to no effect.
Marco Rubio, who’s only asset is that kids very nearly shout-out his name at pool parties.
Chris Christie–only support so far from Bon Jovi’s cousin.

Wisconsin’s Scott Walker is trying to look presidential by taking his first foreign trip ever to the UP.
Walker threw down the foreign policy gauntlet saying Hillary “left parts of the world messed-up.”
Didn’t say which or how, but it’s a start.
Walker will be undertaking a trade-mission to Israel, trying to sell Wisconsin-made Seder plates to the Israelis.
I say, “Molotov!”

The Keystone pipeline debate loses some steam as plummeting oil prices leave oil sludge the same price as ordinary sludge.

Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson is suing President Obama, saying he was hurt by Obamacare because now everybody at the plastics plant thinks health insurance is a God-given right.

Governor President Walker says no casino in Kenosha because some of his best friends are Potawatomies.

House Speaker John Boehner says he’s had it with being tea-bagged by the Tea party.

Oil price plunge forces Halliburton to let Dick Cheney go.

Playing down the whole dynasty thing, Jeb BBehind-the-Screams-Shockumentary-tales-from-the-crypt-19261597-720-540ush now tells people he’s related to the Bush’s Beans people.

That’s All the News That Isn’t

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