Ugly Hanukkah Sweater and All the Holiday News That Isn’t 2014
All the Holiday News That Isn’t
-Hottest Christmas toy this season for boys anything Minecraft, for girls anything they say it is.
-Starting a new tradition, President Obama will pardon the Christmas ham.
-Those of you spending Christmas in Japan, remember Christmas Cake means sponge cake, but also may mean any unmarried woman over 25.
-Denmark claims sovereignty over the North Pole, but assures children everywhere Santa Claus will be grandfathered in.
-Duggar Family Christmas cards–well, at 14 x 48 foot, billboards, really–have been sent out, but gotten so pricey the list has been cut way down.
-Your neighbor’s Christmas lights are visible from space. Upside is any alien invasion goes next door.
-This year hot holiday clothing means the Ugly Chanukah Sweater, featuring a menorah that runs from wrist to wrist when you hold your arms out.
-Gloria and George ‘Buddy’ Witherow of Symrna, Tennessee, have 50 themed Christmas trees in their ranch house, including the Bob Hope Tree of Golf, a Noah’s Ark tree with 2 of every kind of ornament, and the deck the boughs with Elvis jumpsuits tree.
-Psychologists say that people with blow-up Christmas lawn ornaments are an entirely different type.
-A star in the East this Yuletide means gas has dropped below 2 dollars a gallon, and,
-Governor Scott Walker makes up for his ‘molotov’ gaffe by lighting the giant Magilla in the Wisconsin State Capitol . . .