Tesla D Talks to Officer for You and All the News That Isn’t


A lot of 17 year-olds disappointed they didn’t get the Nobel Peace Prize.

Kim Jong Un on North Korean milk cartons–and full size!
Probably gone back to his Gangnam style day job.

Hewlett-Packard reforms as Packlett-Heward.

President Obama voluntarily checks into leper colony.
They send my wife out on my engagements drag the river!

Apparently Red Bull does not give you wings. A class action suit on behalf of Red Bull drinkers who believed they could fly gets you 2 free cans of Red Ball and knee pads.

Reacting to the loss of Voter ID, Wisconsin Republicans require pap smear or prostate probe to vote.
I’m taking the pap smear–much less chance of finding something wrong.

Vatican streamlines annulments–now one Hail Mary and Two Our Fathers and you’re outta there.

40,000 year-old cave painting called derivative.

Dairy Queen customer data hacked–that makes everybody they didn’t get at Target and Home Depot.

Sarah Palin says it was not a brawl it was a baby shower.

Three Nobel Prizes for LED’s seems a little high. If they were tiny light-emitting Nobels I could see it.

Holiday sales projections suggest you will have a 4.1% merrier Christmas.
Chanukah will be 8.3 days.

Gay couples lose their last chance to say “Honey, really wish we could get married.”

AT&T guilty of phone cramming–that’s where they take your phone and . . . too easy.

Koreas exchange friendly fire.
Point of pride there is no DMZ between Wisconsin and the UP.

New Tesla D autopilot accelerates from 0 to 60 in 3.2 seconds in any direction it feels like. The D will brake, correct for lane wandering and explain to the officer it wasn’t your fault.

Green Day to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame–how old does that make you feel, kids?

That’s All the News That Isn’t



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