Pabst Red Ribbon and All the News That Isn’t
9-22-14
Old Milwaukee bought by Russians, to be rebranded as Old Petropavlosk-Kamchatsky.
Then there’s Pabst Red Ribbon.
Milwaukee Brewers one game away from Triple A.
White House intruder turns out to be Marian Robinson, President Obama’s mother-in-law.
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell new host of America’s Funniest Home Videos. Knew he’d land on his feet.
Chinese schmatta site Alibaba IPO makes 40 thieves billionaires.
Man drops iPhone not news–iPhone drops man is news.
Joe Biden’s Jewish lawyer explains Joe’s ‘shylock’ crack–meant to say shamrock.
Sugar Bear Mama June Bye-Bye Honey Boo-Boo Boo-Hoo.
Hard to lose a reality show at that age.
During all the tumult, Wales secedes from UK without anybody noticing.
There are plastic microbeads in Crest toothpaste because microbeads have been shown to be an effective decay-preventing dentifrice when used in a conscientiously applied program of oral hygiene and regular professional care.
Anybody else with “swim to North Korea” on their bucket list?
Obama ISIS strategy: send in South Vietnamese regulars. Been spoiling for a fight.
Jameis Winston offensive player of the week.
My genius grant turned out to be ironic.
If Trump can come back to Atlantic City there’s hope for Nucky on Boardwalk Empire.
Millions of Americans having their U2 removed.
You know, Bono should forget this Apple business and go back to Cher.
Rihanna too physical for NFL.
Urban Outfitters says bloodstained Kent State sweatshirt belonged to their former marketing guy.
In Scotland, 55% take the high road, 45% take the low road.
Pro-independence Glasgow to seek Vatican City Status.
Too bad, I was anxious to see if Scotland would join NATO or the Warsaw Pact.
Rosetta spacecraft mistakenly lands on hemorrhoid instead of asteroid.
Easy mistake to make.
Adrian Peterson’s suspension gives him more time for the kids.
Other news from Scotland–the Royal and Ancient Golf Club votes to accept Royal and Ancient Women.
Must have to play through a lot at the Royal and Ancient Golf Club.
Diapergate for Wisconsin’s Scott Walker who claimed an alleged tax cut of $322 would buy 2700 diapers. Used maybe.
For the record, $322, if you had it (and you don’t) would buy 894 diapers at Sam’s Club, bulk.
And diaper users vote.
Want to vote in Wisconsin this November you’ll need a Voter ID and cheek swab or stool sample, the choice is yours . . .
That’s All the News That Isn’t