All the News That Isn’t


Supreme Court considering same sex marriage—likeliest couple Scalia and Roberts, although Ginsberg and Kagan not out of the question.
Republemmings streaming over fiscal cliff.
Speaker Boehner toes over the edge as members yell “jump!”
Negotiations deadlocked as Republicans propose 47% cut across the board.
Dems counter with offer to eat half the rich, nationalize Koch industries.
Metaphor makers desperately search for Fiscal Cliff alternative–rejected so far: Fiscal Root Canal, Fiscal Canard, Fiscal Molehill, Axis of Fiscal, Iron Fiscal Curtain, Fiscal Fistula and Fiscal Wailing Wall.
Good news is Mayan Apocalypse hits before the Fiscal Cliff.
President Obama holds fast in negotiations with the Mayans.
This is the new Give ‘Em Hell, Barry!
Down to wrangling over who the fiscal cliff will bury when it crumbles.
In other news that isn’t—
Egyptian Spring–for cover.
Big year for Maryland—same sex marriage and the Big 10 in the same year!
Apple denies building 20 Macs in the US just window dressing.
You can smoke pot in Washington but you can’t blow it into Oregon.
They just have to wait for the Chinook winds to bring it over.
I don’t know, you can kill yourself in Oregon but you can’t take a toke first.
Should be OK in Washington, if they just wouldn’t all smoke under the Space Needle.
Personally, I don’t want to be high and a lumberjack.
Or high and the guy who throws the fish at the Seattle market.
Big deal though—like Arizona making Viagra over the counter.
Billion and a half dollars to fly to the moon, so pretty much just the Koch brothers and Sheldon Adelson up there. Just an asteroid flyby for me, tops.
Catch-22 for retirement age—every time you reach it they raise the number of missions.
In the Senate, De Mint has left de pillow.
De Mint will head the Heritage Foundation for Men.
This leaves our own Paulie Ryan the closest thing to a conservative intellectual in Congress.
Binge gene found, researcher checking phone to see where he might have left it.
Happy for the royals, but for once like to hear something about a commoner baby.
So much goodwill over royal baby now the Assads are thinking of having one.
Pope and Lady Gaga flaming one another on twitter.
Former Wisconsin coach Bielema now rooting with Razorbacks while Barry Alvarez frantically goes through his trunk for coaching sweats . . .
That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .


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