All the News That Isn’t Update


Come on, that rock is only unusual because it’s on Mars.

Curiosity finds a cigarette butt or a tampon dispenser, then we’ve got something.

The European Union wins the Nobel Peace Prize for once not going to war to settle their differences.

Germans just march through the continent economically these days.
A lot of wars, but a lot of peaces.

Giant eyeball found on beach in Florida returned to Dina Lohan.

House sized asteroid brushes so closes to earth loses chimney.

For the Shuttle Endeavour re-entry had nothing on driving through LA. Fortunately, 2 mph is keeping pace on 405.

Joe Biden and Paul Ryan no longer talking at the Hibernian Club.

Young Ryan had to have his tail surgically removed from between his legs in time for the next marathon.

The secret was they didn’t feed Joe for a week.

Made a big deal about Joe Biden showing his teeth, but, hey, you pay for ’em you want to show ’em.

The veep debate in short: 97%, 47%, 30%, 20% and 1%.

Obama team looking for bounce from Lindsay Lohan Romney endorsement.

Paul Ryan says he jumped from edge of space and broke sound barrier.

From the deck in La Jolla Romney can see China.

New Romney bio is out: 50 Shades of Mitt

Romney solution for Middle East: baptize both the Muslims and the Jews posthumously.

GOP sees Libya as swing state.

Like Mitt never had an intelligence failure.

Scream 2012: the debate is coming from inside the house!

Race so close the candidates are conjoined.

Giant set of teeth on Florida beach Biden’s.

As price of gas hits 5 bucks in California, Napa converts to fuel. Can get 100 mpg on a quart of Christian Brothers.

With death chill falls over roach eating circuit. Geckos won’t even look at them.

Pfizer fined $164 million for not revealing what Celebrex was for.

As a minority Protestants now qualify for Affirmative Action.

Lindsay/ Dina Lohan debate outdraws vice-presidential.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. sits a few out after finding the engine noise was in his head, and

Consumers counterintuitively confident . . .

That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .

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