All the News That Isn’t for 10-1-12


The old Hoffa’s in your driveway scam.

Then some guy with a ladder and a bucket of tar says Hoffa’s on your roof.

That’s not radon in your basement, that’s Hoffa.

Come in with the Hoffa sniffing dogs.

You and I disappear, we’re gone. But not Hoffa . . .

In all the news that isn’t Hoffa–

Sinatra leads in swing states.

If we could only find Sinatra we’d find Hoffa.

Wednesday first debate between robocalls.

Romney lowers expectations and concedes debates.

Apple chief apologizes for maps from dead end in Compton.

Chef convicted for seriously overcooking wife.

Lingerie league refs leave NFL so wedgies will not be called anymore.

Nice to hate refs again for all the right reasons.

Refs were a little rusty coming back, genuflecting for a hail Mary.

Israel’s Netanyahu shows the UN Iran’s cartoon bomb. Have achieved Spy v. Spy technology.

Vatican says take Jesus’ wife, please.

Romney retools pitch, extols compression for the poor, says he has great apathy for their plight. Knows what it means to be money hungry.

Romney will open debate by guessing Obama’s weight. If he’s from Canada.

Romney will suggest impoverished nations ask their dads for money.

Paul Ryan says he does not need to be unmuzzled, or something like that. Hard to tell because of the muzzle.
Might have said he was not a muggle.

Earlier version of the Mona Lisa–the Kardashian Lisa–revealed.

The drug ecstasy said to hinder recall, so it’s a win-win.

Students line up at the University of California-Davis for financial aid pepper spraying.

Company that makes the bullet trains in Japan will make Amtrak cars that look like they’re going much faster than they are.

Bacon shortage due to replacement pigs.

Reduced to 3 chicken nuggets for lunch, high schoolers go on protein rampage in mall.

And J.K. Rawlings first adult book has Harry Potter fans ripping their little bodices . . .

That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .

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