All the News That Isn’t for 4-23-12

Hopefully, the president’s protection was using protection.

The Secret Service–always ready to take one for the President.

Knew something was wrong when I saw the bumper stickers–Secret Service Does It With Earpieces.

WWCED: What Would Clint Eastwood Do

Ironic, since the hookers were their boots on the ground in Colombia.

Really, all just a rate of exchange problem–1 US dollar =1800 Colombian pesos. So hand somebody 30 bucks that’s 54,000 pesos. Before tip (another 18,000).

So what was she squawking about? Sarah Palin would’ve taken it.

You have to remember the last official visit to Colombia was Bill Clinton. So the groundwork had been laid.

Next, the FBI boys will be seen at a Passion Party.

Sarkozy is French for Obama. A lot of pressure since Carla goes to the winner.

Following Tupac’s success, a Reagan hologram will address the convention.

Planned Parenthood to offer aspirin between knees technique.

Shot in the Dark Parenthood new rival to Planned Parenthood.

Just glad my parents didn’t have Planned Parenthood.

Zimmerman apologizes to parents, saying he usually uses a .22 on the kids.

As a condition of his parole he must not sit on the roof with a shotgun.

Cookiegate–how elitist is it if Romney expected 7-11 cookies?

My concern with Ted Nugent’s remarks is how difficult it already is for a black Jewish nazi klansman.

Just the cat scratch fever talking.

Yes, he shouldn’t have offered to bring Romney scalps.
But, on the upside, interest in the Black Jew Nazi Klan Tour is huge.

Personally, if anybody threatens me, I hope it’s Ted Nugent.

Dick Clark dies a very old 22 year old.

Ryan Seacrest just had a dramatic flash forward.

Guess I’ll never get to dance with the girl with the streaked beehive on Bandstand.

Shuttle Discovery humps a 747 all the way to the Smithsonian.

Obama-Romney race close. Can’t be a good sign to hold a narrow lead over a man nobody likes.

Mitt Romney throws a couple of illegal aliens atop the car, drives off to dig the Keystone pipeline “by myself.”

Roger Clemons will have to produce his buttocks in his defense, so there’s a lot on his side.

No Pulitzer prize in fiction. There’s a book in that.

The parents who forced their 8 year old girl to wear an “I like to steal” sign have been stolen. No reward being offered.

Sheree is leaving Real Housewives, and I can’t tell you how bad I feel about knowing that, and

Nothing says “This Economy” like a Honus Wagner card going for only 1.2 million . . .

. . . That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .

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