All the News That Isn’t for 10-17-11

Ashton is so grounded.

President takes the Obama out of Obamacare.

The health care plan has been modified to exclude pre-existing, existing, or potential conditions.

Occupied signs go up in cities across America, making the US the first country to be occupied by itself.

The movement has gone south as Occupado. Occupado piso mojado.

Could turn out to be a new political movement once they find out what they believe in or don’t. Still, if the Tea Party can do it anybody can.

We do know that the Tea Party tends to dress like John Adams & Dolly Madison, while the Occupists are more Han Solo and Chewbacca.

Hagen Daz brings back black walnut by popular demand.

Herman Cain riding crest of national sales tax mania.

Germans say nein-nein-nein to Cain plan.

Mere coincidence that the Godfather’s value deal is $9.99?

Cain going so simple he met the pie man.

Slipping in the polls, the Romney fallback is Maxwell Sheffield in The Nanny remake.

Steve Job’s remains left in a Mexican restaurant in Palo Alto.

In his defense, at least Conrad Murray makes house calls.

During the Blackberry outage President Obama was down to the On-Star GM gave him.

Michelle Obama seen couponing at Piggly Wiggly. The entire dinner for the South Koreans cost 11 cents.

Romney and Christie to be Abbott and Costello for Halloween.

Perry’s wife says its been a rough month but won’t elaborate. His head has retracted totally into his shell.

Iranian hitman from the same graduating class as undies bomber.

Undies bomber seeks change of venue–getting ripe.
Well, we’ve all left bombs in our undies.

California teens unbothered by tanning bed ban since they’re all into their Twilight vampire phase.

Due to loophole, Wisconsin Governor Walker can campaign against recall using teacher pension funds.

Bucks atop NBA two weeks into season.

Middle-aged overweight Kevin Bacon stars in Floploose.

Slovaks finally pick up a Czech, and

Skirts must rise for economy to recover–ladies, it’s up to you!

That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .

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