Reality Dwarf Stars of 2010 from Nora & Michael Feldman
dwarf star (n.): a small star of low luminosity
Top Ten Dwarf Stars of 2010
Ranked by luminosity, lowest to highest.
10. Keenan Cahill: his viral video lip syncs Katy Perry better than she does.
9. Bethany Frankel: the Oh, Really, Housewife of New York worked it to find mate, conceive and have baby on-air to completely muffle other housewive’s thunder.
8. Vinny Guadagnino: possibly the smartest guy in Staten Island dumbed himself down nearly too far for Jersey Shore but came out the dark horse almost appealing cast member.
7. Olivia Blois Sharpe: from Jerseylicious big hair novice to head big hairdresser–and she sings the theme song.
6. Michaele Salahi: the you-can’t-help-but-dislike old school party crasher left the Housewives of DC in her dust.
5. Buddy Valastro: the can’t-be-this-dumb Cake Boss and pride of Hoboken whose masterpiece was a larger-than-life sized many-tiered cake of his wife she pretended to love.
4. Calvin Tran: From feared/hated by all “Oh here go hell come” boy on Bravo’s The Fashion Show to signature stores in LA, New York and Chicago.
3. Rachel Uchitel: parlayed stint with Tiger Woods for chance to put Celebrity Rehabber Dr. Drew in his place.
2. Kim Zolciak: Atlanta Housewife blossomed post-Big Daddy to become one of the worst singers of all time with da bomb “Tardy for the Party,”
And the number one Dwarf Star for 2010–
1. Antoine Dodson: “Hide your kids, hide your wife” for the rocket ride blasting from the Huntsville projects to the mega hit “Bed Intruder Song” iTunes video.