Whad'ya Know?

Feldman on Feldman

MF: Which Potosi you got there?

MF: Forget your readers? It’s a Gandy Dancer. Thought I’d try it. Usually get the Cave Ale. As you know.

MF: Hard asking questions when you know the answers, although I was a Quiz Master for many years.

MF: Let’s not go there again. Nothing in the want ads under Master, Quiz. Got it. Heard it.

MF: Now you know how I feel. Why do people say that? Why would we care what they feel? We were talking about me. About how I feel.

MF: I hear you. And the beer?

MF: Medium-bodied with chocolate and caramel notes, I’d have to say.

MF: Medium on the hop bitterness?

MF: Yeah, good place to set it.

MF: I didn’t actually hit any of those flavor notes. Right on the label here. If you read it enough times you begin to taste chocolate and caramel, I swear.

MF: Or you could have a little chocolate and caramel and slam down a beer right after.

MF: Have to say I have never gotten one single nuance from a bag of coffee, a bottle of wine or a beer. I am nuance challenged.

MF: Hah! I know–I want chocolate, I buy chocolate. I want beer, I buy beer.

MF: Should be on the Feldman shield.

MF: Think we’ll stick with Just This Far Apart; served the Feldmans for many generations now, although the Latin, hoc longe, is disappointing.

MF: Now, I know you’re not retired, you’re doing stuff, and some of it is out in the open where people can see that you’re keeping pretty busy.

MF: Thank you, yes, well, doing a little podcasting, a little gardening, thinking of buying an easel, some pastels, a decent brush, maybe resell them for half what they cost me on E-bay.

MF: Right, life after a certain age: E-Bay & the Weather Channel.

MF: Everything you had or didn’t have in your life is on E-Bay. And all the weather you could want on TWC.

MF: Would like to get into the winter storm naming racket. I think Winter Storm Moishe would be a hit among the weather faithful of a certain hue.

MF: Doing any writing?

MF: Un peu. I write for myself.

MF: I’ve read it. Some of it could be for someone else.

MF: I am working on a cookbook for those with cooking phobias: Fear of Frying.

MF: I’d read it. Do you enjoy cooking?

MF: You know I’m going to say, no, I enjoy eating.

MF: Let me rephrase the question, do you cook?

MF: Do I eat?

MF: Home repair. Used to do a lot of things around the house, no? Almost to the point of carpenting.

MF: I’m repenting from carpenting. The deck I built is returning to its constituent elements, grade B- cedar and creosote. Smells like the La Brea tar pits out there, afraid the dog is going to fall in–plus, I can’t grill–if a fire starts it won’t go out.

MF: Well, I can see you’re anxious to get back to all you do. Is there an answer you have to a question I neglected to ask?

MF: Oh, I guess I could have one more.

This entry was posted on October 31, 2016 at 2:28 pm and is filed under comedy. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: feldman on feldman, feldman self interview