Ted Cruz Pursued by Condom Police & All The News That Isn’t

12-7-15

Good idea but I have to say fake rhino horn is not doing it for me.

Brits send Spitfires against ISIS and Germans send V-1’s.

At the climate talks in Paris–
Russians blame Turks for climate.
Germans blame Jews.
Spanish only come out at night so they don’t care.
English used to a spot of bad weather.
Chinese will control their own climate.
The US Congress will have nothing to do with climate unless it affects tee times.

House Speaker Little Paulie Ryan’s replacement for Obamacare–Ryancare–provides a ride to the ER.
And if he can’t do it his sister can.

Obamacare repeal is on Obama’s desk.
No word yet as to Obama’s action.
Probably a ceremony with a lot of pens so everybody gets one.
Mr. Obama joked he’d leave the Hussein in his signature so there’d be more pens to go around.

Although nobody asked for proof, a 2 1/2 million year old peach pit proves Homo erectus enjoyed a nice peach and that he thought he could just throw the pit anywhere.

Not much point in being born to Mark Zuckerberg if he’s going to give it all away to celebrate.
1% of $450 billion is a lousy $450 million, hardly worth the inheritance tax.
In 20 years $450 million will only buy you a Toyota Yaris.

Former front runner brain surgeon Ben Carson plunging so fast he’s thinking about proctology.

Kids with dogs have less anxiety while dogs with kids have more anxiety.

Bonobo’s –the cousins of chimps–are sophisticated enough to appear on a GOP debate stage.

Ted Cruz says the democrat “condom police” are just going to have to pin him down and roll it on.

At a meeting with black ministers Donald Trump’s rendition of “Mammy” falls on deaf ears.

Kobe gets beef offer from Japan.

Japan refuses to take back the sinking Marshall Islands. Will not bail them out.

Imagine what the Red Sox could have gotten for $218 million!
Will Ferrell maybe. Or a new ballpark already.

With Montenegro in NATO there is dancing in the streets of Podgorica.

Human brains are neither male nor female unless she says they are.

Dinosaurs made nests just like birds only a lot flatter.

That’s All the News That Isn’tsimple clutch

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