All the News That Isn’t for 2-20-12

Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey vetoes same sex marriage despite being two same sex men.

Either need to let everybody do it or abolish marriage altogether. I’m leaning towards the latter.

On the upside, you can try to get a gay to marry you in 8 states now.

Newt Gingrich appears on milk cartons.

Callista’s Facebook status changes.

Apple raises pay of Chinese workers to 2 pot stickers and a steamed chicken foot.

iPads are being seized by the Chinese who play table tennis with them.

50 years ago today John Glenn made one 6th grader dream of being the first bar mitzvah boy in orbit.

Congress extends unemployment benefits to presidential candidates.

In Michigan, Romney counter-intuitively trashes autos in Detroit and tulips in Holland.

The Republican Contest–or, And Then There Were None.

You know they’re not constitutionally required to field a candidate. N/A will do.

As it stands right now, President Obama gets 99% of the Muslim vote.

The president has reached new heights of low popularity. Slightly ahead of Nixon in 1974.

Factory output jumps .7%. Jumps? Can you jump .7%? More of a shudder. Twitch, maybe.

Study concludes the US needs to manufacture more things we can’t afford to buy.

Homebuilder confidence is up–good because you don’t want a tentative guy up on the roof there.

On the upside, Whitney Houston gets a huge career bounce. And Bobby Brown doesn’t.

Chris Christie lowers the flags for Whitney, but would he have let her marry Beyonce? Forget about it.

Woman with a “cute figure” says TSA takes a picture so it will last longer.

Got the new full body scanner at the airport here and it’s very slimming.

Bishops say only acceptable contraception 3 Hail Mary’s and an Our Father.

A lot of Norwegians use lefse.

Among Jewish people the wife is considered a contraceptive.

After excavating everything north of Highway 29, the Wisconsin senate turns to draining the wetlands. Should have the state uninhabitable for man nor beast by the end of the governor’s first term. In Waupun.

At the rate for the 212 jobs the governor acquired @ $250,000 each, his promised goal of 250,000 jobs will cost the State of Wisconsin $6, 250,000,000. And worth every penny of it.

FDA calls erections lasting more than four hours on fake Levitra coincidence.

Jeremy Lin just about makes up for Yao Ming.

Iran having trouble with a foreign policy that doesn’t explode.

Thanks to Iran the Axis of Evil is now the Shaft of Evil.

Bain Capital wants its share of GM’s 7.6 billion or will see to it Chevys are made in Addis Ababa.

Joseph Kennedy III relaunches the brand.

Moody’s increasingly so.

Julian Assange harasses Marge, Wikileaks Homer on The Simpsons.

Undies bomber gets life in prison laundry.

Snickers downsized to Snick.

Man’s daughter returns laptop fire, shoots dad’s porno.

Rupert yells bloody Murdoch.

Santorum’s mother used aspirin for birth control, and

You just knew TCU was high in that Rose Bowl–we’re looking at a forfeit here . . .

. . . That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .

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