All the News That Isn’t for January 23


Let’s Stay Together theme for President Obama’s State of the Union.

South Carolina shows the nation what it’s made of by writing in Marianne Gingrich in the primary.

Now it’s on to Florida for Marianne where there are a huge number of ex-wives–and they vote.

Newt finessed any talk of his personal life by offering to have his tubes tied.

Newt did ask Callista about Heidi Klum.

Mitt once asked Ann for an open box of Ritz crackers.

Romney pays 15% for taxes, and tips 12% if the service is good. A smiley face on the check will not do it for Mitt Romney. Mitt has a 2 for 1 coupon, he tips on the one.

If folks like Newt Gingrich better than you something is terribly wrong.

President Obama announces the new Keystone Pipeline ride at Disneyworld.

Wouldn’t a Trans-Canada pipeline go across Canada, eh? This is more a Trans-Omaha pipeline.

Just have to truck the muck. They could use the tar sands to pave a road from Alberta to Baton Rouge.

The thought of being Canada’s sewer is appealing.

Perry leaves the race, Gingrich ranks swell by two.

Gingrich calls for open presidency–be able to see other countries.

Italian cruise ship captain blames la media d’elite.

What about Captain Clouseau–tripping and falling into the lifeboat.

He could sail all right but he couldn’t parallel dock.

Still no word from Kathie Lee.

I just thank God the Packers folded too late to take the Italian cruise.

Santorum declared winner in Iowa after 34 Iowans flushed out of corn.

A Chapter 11 Kodak moment.

Apple seizes grade schools, promises to raise kids like their own.

GM on top again, and GM says fins.

American Idol returns with Steven Tyler–dude look like an old lady.

Poor Paula Deen just sitting and staring at that Ultimate Fantasy Deep-Fried Cheesecake.

Does explain all that spun sugar hair.

Paula will be cooking for the Diabetes Association Annual Dinner.

Paula Deen will be the new voice on the talking glucose meter.

Russia offers to let next Mars probe fall on Iran.

In Wisconsin, enough signatures have been gathered to recall Scott, Tonette and the boys,

And the Green Bay Packers are spending their unexpected free time shoveling snow back into Lambeau Field . . .

. . . That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .

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