All the Holiday News That Isn’t
All the Holiday News That Isn’t
12-19-11
That time of year again–hard to believe there’s only 339 shopping days ’til Black Friday.
And in All the Holiday News That Isn’t–
God particle discovered in manger.
Wisemen and hangerson occupy Bethlehem.
Increasing numbers around country celebrating Tim Tebowmas.
It’s a little harder putting the Tim Tebow back in Christmas.
Newt the Grinch makes gradeschoolers pull Santa’s sleigh.
Speaker John Boehner ties Christmas to oil pipeline.
President and Mrs. Obama pointedly celebrate everything but Kwanzaa.
Rick Perry can only name 3 days of Christmas.
Ron Paul celebrates Tax Freedom Day instead of Christmas, which he calls an illegally mandated power grab by the Fed.
Drone successfully places star atop National Christmas Tree then lands in Tehran.
Callista Gingrich sagging under weight of Tiffany ornaments.
Biblical scholars now believe Nativity star was abandoned Russian Mars probe.
Some concern over who’s on other end of Justin Bieber’s miseltoe.
Parole hearing scheduled for Lindsay Lohan after blouse found stuffed with bourbon balls.
Formerly Cat Stevens to star in Yusef Islam’s All-American Muslim Holiday Show, sponsored by Lowes.
The Brewers’ Ryan Braun says it must have been the sprinkles on the Christmas cookies.
The Romneys’ Christmas card shows Santa’s sleigh being pulled by team of salamanders.
In an echumenical gesture, Mormon Tabernacle Choir to perform Yentl.
At Penn State, the Sanduskys decide to skip their holiday hospital visits to sick kids and just send iTunes gift cards.
Canadians still divided between Christmas and Boxing Day, even though there hasn’t been a Canadian boxer worth mentioning since Sam Langford.
LA Clippers have a merry little Chris Paul.
Kim Kardashian sporting huge lump of coal on finger.
And here in Wisconsin, Kris Kringle signs Walker recall petition 5,000 times–and they have to count it! It’s the miracle of Christmas 2011—
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, and a Wonderful New Year!
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