Whad'ya Know?

4-18-16

Inky and Blotchy were sweethearts.

OK, Inky (the octopus) sees a crack in the New Zealand aquarium lid–Bingo!–he’s in the Tasman Sea off Christchurch, trying to remember how to do the whole wild octopus thing.

While Blotchy (the octopus) waits for the mini shrimps they serve at 11.

The question arises, which are you going to be: Itchy or Blotchy?

Anyway, goes to show you how smart octopuses are and how dumb some aquarium workers are. Not all. Some.

Pope takes three Syrian families with him from the Isle of Lesbos, one for washing, one for lawn care, one for show.

In all The Holy See adopted 3 migrant families and Bernie Sanders.

Who just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

Bernie gave only 4% to charity last year, but Jews don’t tithe. Which, btw, the Pope brought up.

A tree grows in Brooklyn during Hillary-Bernie Debate.

This is good practice though for what it will be like in the nursing home.
Legacy time as President Obama throws himself into the fight for set-top cable box choice.

Ted Cruz can’t say when personhood begins since it hasn’t yet for him.

Huge lines at airport TSA check ins since now they have to buy you a glass of wine before  they pat you down.

Microsoft sues FBI for trying to make Paper Clip Guy talk.

Johnny Football Manziel much improved after rehab–only 20 thousand dollars damage to his rental unit. And now he has rehab skills to improve it.

The Czech Republic would now like to be known as Czech Please.

No way they’re getting back with the o’Slovakians.

See Leslie Van Houten-Manson is on Match.com. Guess they broke up.

She and I have really complimentary profiles. She’s changed, I’ve changed.

You know, when I think of all the rugby sized balls of sperm whale vomit I’ve tossed out.

I thought ambergris was just from the old admonition  ‘put a little ambergris in it.’

A rugby sized ball of sperm whale vomit surprisingly affordable at $100,000 US.

All because a New Zealand couple likes to look for stinky things on the beach while on holiday.

Actually, ‘A Rugby Sized ball of sperm whale vomit’ sounds like a New Zealand High School yearbook caption.

Alaska Airlines buys Virgin, even though Alaska Virgin sounds pretty unlikely.

Before discovering his kids had not registered to vote in New York Donald Trump was pretty confident in landing two out of three of them.

Got to say about Ivanka, what looks horrible on him looks quite striking on her.

New Tennessee law requires Bibles in transgender bathrooms.

Scores of Tarheels continue to stream into South Carolina with some urgency.

The odds of finding an enlightened  restroom at a truck stop pretty poor.

Paul Ryan singing the same unequivocal song–

I won’t dance

Don’t ask me

I won’t dance

Don’t ask me

I won’t dance

Madam with you.

Unequivocal and unmusical.

It’s the story of my life, too–have to beg me to work.

And, closing with a new feature on the show, Thought For the Day:

The thing about the world is we would probably like each other if we met.

Of course, what if we didn’t.

Well, I try to be philosophical but I just Kant.

That’s All the News That Isn’t