With the discovery that nearly all psych studies can’t be replicated, thousands of people who had puffs of air blown at their eyelids for no reason seek reparations.
The Apple and Boeing joint wearable tech effort produces the iPropellercap.
George w Bush in New Orleans given the Lake Ponchartrain baptism.
GOP hammers out anti-women, Mexicans, Asians, Muslims and Jews except for Sheldon Adelson platform.
In Zimbabwe, lion mistakes guide for dentist.
While decrying Anchor Babies, Republicans do support Anchor Fetuses.
Straight Outta Kenosha stumbles at the box office.
Works differently from the male kind.
Revealed that Hillary’s classified messages went out by SnapChat.
American flag over Cuban embassy means Barry Manilow September 21st at the Tropicana.
Neighbor acquires Korean high wattage speakers.
Like having Jason Aldean right up your butt!
The only man who can stop Donald Trump is Nick Offerman, but he can’t take time from woodworking to do it.
In Iowa, woman pulls Trump hair, head falls off.
Campaign will continue as usual.
President is one thing, just be grateful Donald Trump is not your father-in-law.
Tiffany’s cute but don’t even think about it.
Should American birthright be ended does Ted Cruz go back to Cuba or Canada?
Scott Walker proposes wall along Canada border to prevent massive cold fronts from entering the US.
Walker says the Keystone pipeline can run under it.
You know Red Green will just make some contraption to fling himself over it.
GMC sues President Obama over Denali name for Mt. McKinley.
Eli Manning says he never asked to be the NFL’s highest paid quarterback.
So, kids, be careful what you never ask for.
Meanwhile, Tom Brady will spend the next couple of months shooting Tommy Hilfiger underwear ads.
Be looking closely for any signs of another Deflategate.
And, in Iowa, a fly with Scott Walker’s head heard yelling ‘help me!’ ‘help me!’ from a spider web in the bushes.
He’ll be fine–he’s indomitable.
That’s All the News That Isn’t