Mitt Luthor meets with Legion of Doom in secret hideaway in Utah.
A ritual selection of vice-president, a virgin sacrificed, and they’re out of there. After slaying the servants, of course, who might have witnessed the proceedings. The job pays good, but . . .
Congress contempt charge lands on desk of Attorney General Holder, who drags self out by collar with gun to head saying “Get back–or the brother gets it!”
God particle found and, boy, is it mad.
Commerce secretary seizes moment and retires.
Tumbling shares reduce housewares retailer to Bed, Bath, and That’s About It.
Germany’s Angela Merkel looking a lot tenser without George W to rub her neck.
Couple freed by Somali pirates after they just couldn’t take them for another minute.
Microsoft tablet unearthed–it’s clay and uses the cuneiform operating system.
Attempting to widen the flock, Southern Baptists change name to NASCAR Baptists.
Fewer people paying attention to ADHD.
I use my ADHD discount all the time.
Michigan authorities go door to door looking for vaginas.
In Michigan, the female parts may only be referred to as paw paws.
War on women down to the war on you-know-what down there.
Standard model of universe flawed, replaced with Kohler model.
Moderate drinking during pregnancy not only OK but just about essential.
President Obama misses 4,006 free throws in a row on White House court.
Janet Jackson’s breast gets OK 10 years too late.
Romney to replace health care with wealth care.
And food stamps with Wawa’s hoagies gift cards.
The Obama edict stopping immigrant child deportation actually a big relief to Mitt Romney, son of a Mexican father.
Typical American family of 4 now includes at least 1 Asian. Plus 1 Latino and a kid with curly hair and glasses who’s bright but a smart ass.
Web site Politico fires blogger for not realizing Romney is not comfortable around white folks, either.
Roger Clemens covers his butt, and
Here in Wisconsin, voters must decide if Ron Johnson and Tommy Thompson from Wisconsin is just too cute . . .
. . . That’s All the News That Isn’t . . .